Don Roble Avatar
A general fiction story by

Don Roble

Submitted May 27, 2020, 8:10:01 PM

The Lion Sleeps Tonight


The Lion Sleeps Tonight

The lion heard the screaming and hollering about a lion in the village. He should be enjoying this. He wasn’t. He was in a sanitary pit. A sanitary pit in a jungle village? They usually just went wherever the mood struck them. When the smell got too bad they’d move the village.

The lion looked up and barely made out a face. It was a white face. This was no villager. The lion hoped it wasn’t some poaching party. Then the lion wouldn’t have to worry about what a bore life was. Life would be ending from a large bore rifle. The lion could kiss his butt goodbye.

Then the pale, white face spoke.

“Why, it’s a cat. It’s a big cat too.”

It was a Peace Corps volunteer. She had a degree in engineering. That explains the pit. Nothing could explain her next words.

“He’s stuck. We need to help him out so he can roam free as a natural creature of the wild,” she announced to the gathered villagers.

“Um, missy, he a lion. We not help him out of pit. He eat us we do.”

“Nonsense. He’d be grateful. You ever heard of the mouse who pulled a thorn out of a lion’s paw? Come on, help me, I can’t do this by myself.”

No, they hadn’t heard about the mouse who pulled a thorn out of a lion’s paw. They had heard stories about kidnapped boys being raised as jungle boys. That they’d heard of.

“Isn’t anyone going to help me? I could attach a rope to my SUV and haul him out of there but it would be so much more humane if you, the people who live with the lion everyday, would do the right thing,” she went on.

The villagers had a meeting. They decided she was right about them doing the right thing. They got the rope and the SUV. They threw the rope in and then pushed the SUV in. Then they pushed her in.

“Well, it was time for us to move along anyway,”the headman told his people.


Rob Kosy Avatar

Rob Kosy

Commented May 27, 2020, 9:14:31 PM
you're a cruel man, Mr Roble. why did she have to DIE? :o
sometimes your posts are like reading 'The Joke Bloke' in The Daily Star (an English tabloid) which are so short, yet sarcastic, but crazily funny. I think about them randomly throughout the day and pi*ss myself laughing for no apparent reason.

Great stuff, my friend.
kt6550 Avatar


Commented May 29, 2020, 8:49:04 PM

Now all they have to worry about is her teaching the lion to drive the SUV. Make his hunting much easier.
dickensonfan Avatar


Commented May 30, 2020, 2:00:56 PM
Cute pastiche of an old fable. It was a slave before it was a mouse. Anyway, Gellius's Androcles was a fable. As all fables, fiction with a point. Point being friendship offered in times of need and the benefits thereof. Your point? Anyone caring to enter a less advantaged culture with the aim of helping must be incredibly stupid? Probably not quite that. But the implication is that all cultures must be left untouched no matter how great the suffering. Unless, of course, there is profit to be made or wars to be fought.
Don Roble Avatar

Don Roble

Commented May 30, 2020, 4:47:25 PM
dickensonfan- you know this is a humor piece. It 's what I do. Don't psychoanalyze it.