Don’t you just love reality TV? You don’t get enough crap in your own life so let’s watch someone else get dumped on. That makes us all feel a little better. Well, not the one getting dumped on but you know how it goes- one for the many.
They had one of those miracles shows on the other night. Not the one with John Boy, the one with Alan Thicke. Hey, it pays the rent until a real acting gig comes along. This one was about a crow that raised a kitten. It wasn’t as good as the show about a boy raised by wolves but there you have it. A crow taking care of a kitten. It was hard to believe.
It was impossible to believe until the folks got out the camcorder. There it was on film. A crow taking care of a kitten. This went on for four months. The vet interviewed said he had no explanation for it so he made one up.
“Obviously, the crow had lost it’s young, possibly to a cat, although it may not know that, and adopted the kitten as the son or daughter it no longer has. I can’t prove that but you can’t prove me wrong.”
The folks taking the movie of it were as amazed as everyone else.
“We couldn’t believe our eyes.”, said Myrtle Clemmons, “That crow was taking care of that kitten like it was its’ mamma. When my husband first told me what he saw I figured he found where I hid the whiskey and he was into it again. Then, I saw it for my ownself. I don’t drink no alcohol so ya can believe me. Amazing!”
Her husband, Alfred, added, “That crow would swoop down at the kitten with a worm or a slug in it’s mouth. It would land and then hop on over to the kitten and drop it to the ground. The kitten would then eat it. Man, that must have been one hungry kitten to eat a worm or a slug. I’d never do it no matter how hungry I was. Course, I’d never eat a mouse neither. Least ways, not if I was sober.”
“I thought it was so cute and darling, that bird takin’ care of the kitten. What a picture they made,” Myrtle went on to say.
The video showed the crow feeding the kitten. The video showed the crow and the kitten feeding and being fed. The crow would swoop down from the sky and flutter to a stop. The kitten would come out from wherever it was and lay down. The crow would hop over to the kitten and drop the food down. The kitten would eat it. Then the crow would take off to go eat whatever it is they eat. The kitten would take a nap.
The crow would hop around the yard and the kitten would chase it. The crow would fly up to the top of the fence and the kitten would try to sneak up on the crow. The crow would land on the kitten’s back and ride around. It was cute as the dickens.
In one shot the Clemmons got the crow could be seen flying around and then landing in the yard. In the background, sitting on electrical wires, was a flock of crows. The fact that they were sitting on an electrical wire already put them one up on people. People who try that never try anything else because they'd be dead.
The crows would watch what was going on. Were they amazed as well? Who knows? Since a crow doesn’t have much else to do after eating and sleeping, it was as good as doing anything else. Did they find the behavior strange? Again, who knows?
“My educated guess, and I am an educated man,”, the vet said, “I’d say they did think it was strange. Birds and felines are natural enemies. Cats eat birds. Birds don’t attack cats except in movies. Granted, if a bunch of crows saw a dead cat, say from eating a bad crow, they would snack on it. Otherwise, no.”
In the final scene of the Clemmons’ little video the crow swooped down as usual. He hopped over to the kitten and dropped the slug down. The kitten didn’t move. He was sound asleep. The crow picked up the slug and dropped it again. Nothing. That kitten was really sleeping. So, the crow reached out and pecked the kitten to wake him up.
The kitten woke up, really woke up! He looked like a fur ball. He jumped straight up into the air. As he came down he accidentally raked the crow with his claws. Scratch one crow.
“Oh, no!”, exclaimed Myrtle Clemmons.
“Oh, no!”, exclaimed the vet.
“Well, ain’t that some shit!”, exclaimed Alfred Clemmons.
“Oh, no!”, I exclaimed.
How tragic. After all that the kitten accidentally killed it’s adoptive mother.
Then the kitten ate it.