Dreams or Reality ( Work in progress . Title and novel)

Dreams. Are they just that - dreams? Or are they reality, and our perception of the ' Real world ' actually our brains deluded escape route from whatever horror lies in its path. A defence , a wall , a cowards way out of facing our true fears and nightmares? That, dear reader, is up to you . Are we alive or are we dead? Are we living for our souls to be saved to co-exist in the next world, or merely just existing to die and stay ashes in the wind for eterity?

Life is full of unanswered questions. Like, if a tree falls down in the forest and no ones around to hear it does it make a sound? When lightning hits the sea, why doesn't all the fish die? And who's that man standing behind you wearing a balaclava and holding a blood soaked samaurai sword ?

Ok, so that last one was a joke. Or was it? Surely you researched our quiet little town before you decided to set up home here, right? Seen the signs and put all the puzzle pieces together?No? Oh...well, then there are three rules that we need to inform you of. You can either choose to abide by them, or fail to and think we are insane. and that's ok, but on your own head be it.

1. Stay out of the shadows during the day, and do not got out after dark.
2. You did not see or hear anything. Keep your head down, eyes to yourself and move on.
3. Pay your Taxes

. Now, wthout further a do, congratulations on stumbling across our devoted community and welcome to the bizzare reality that is Thetford.

You'll never want to leave.

And even if you do...well, you cant. But we will have a lot of fun watching you try.

Comments

AlexScribe

Commented Feb 18, 2019, 8:30:13 AM

Not bad for a first effort, Branx, especially in a 2nd (or 3rd or ??) language. Most of the minor problems concern punctuation, especially within dialog. That is always tricky, and standards vary depending on which English-speaking culture you write for. Note that I write and comment based on S.E. (Simplified English, Routh's term for the US and, strangely, Israeli bastardized version of our almost common language) and I am unfamiliar with some peculiarities and aberrations of P.E. (Primitive English, my label for the UK/CAN/AUS version). If I indicate as an error or less desirable choice in wording or punctuation that which is actually correct or preferred in P.E., then I stand corrected and you should ignore that comment unless you intend significant S.E. readership.

This site has a peculiarity in that tabs and initial spaces in the original are sometimes omitted from the posted version others see. Check the difference between 'edit' and 'read' versions of your story on your 'manage writings' list. The result is that paragraphs run together which makes reading tedious at times and can often cause confusion as to the speaker of an unattributed quote. We usually handle this by leaving a blank line between paragraphs. Crude but it works.

"You killed them" "We are all killers" accept that" {needs punctuation before final " -- ! or ? or . }
Bored he looked at the boy, {should have a comma after "Bored" }
Panting he stuck his bloodied {should have a comma after "Panting" }
He breathed heavely {"heavily" maybe? }
black and white". it shouldn't". {period should be before final " }
become a killer", {comma should be before final " }
It hurt to say that. {hurt who to say what? }

Nice little vignette; perhaps it's the prologue to a longer story? Write on.

A horror story by

Vixen

Dreams or Reality ( Work in progress . Title and novel)

Comments

AlexScribe

Branx

kt6550

Branx

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