Greg Avatar
A prose poem by


Submitted Nov 17, 2017, 1:39:02 AM

An Ode to yellow

Yellow is a warbler's feather
across the sky seeks warmer weather
yellow glen, once green and sleepy
leads south to warble together

Yellow is the lemon rind
thy poet's sky of summer blind
yellow, lustrous, languid lantern
ignites fancy in child's mind

Yellow is a honey bee
heard buzzing 'neath an oaken tree
yellow mother's helper bumbling
petals tremble blissfully

Yellow Jacket shields the rain
while heather skies wash city stain
yellow taxis line the street
yet hurried, worried hearts remain

Yellowed page, old memoirs keep
in final written words will weep
if all these yellow things have passed
a full life lived till restful sleep


Dnavarre Avatar


Commented Nov 20, 2008, 10:23:01 PM
I understand the basic story here. Basic, really, it is, but put nice and sadly. Try to separate it, because it can be hard to understand at a few parts.
Chez-It Avatar


Commented Nov 27, 2008, 4:52:03 AM
This is a very nice poem with a beautiful concept. A few suggestions though just for the sake of the flow and rhythm of the piece. Otherwise I have no objections.

"But now you love him
He holds you, makes your grin"
I would have written it as such...
"But now I know you love him
He holds you, he makes you grin"

Another part I found...
"While I watch with my heart broken in half"
I would have written as such:
"While I watch with my heart in half"
Although it only gives the inclination of a broken heart, it can then be furthered in the next section of the poem.

"Here comes the fade away
Too late to have me stay"
This part is fairly good, but could be editted as...
"And here comes my fade away
Now it's too late to have me stay"

I would also encourage you to break this poem into segments as it is easier to read and ensures that the reader does not miss or skip any parts of it.

I must praise you on your theme, and the dictation of it as such. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Most loved of all was the last line. Pure gold.