kumarpranay570 Avatar
A general fiction story by


Submitted Jul 21, 2015, 5:52:08 PM


Alter _Ego

Dr Kamath was waiting for his next patient when he came in with an eerie smile on his face.
Kamath has been in this profession for about a decade, where he comes across patients of different mentality having different problems rather in their minds. Being a psychiatrist it was a tough job to unlock the moods and behaviours of various patients to find an efficient solution. But he did love his job.
The moment he saw the guy he was sure that he has certain problem with him, a serious one, regarding his posture from which it seems that he was carrying a burden .His smile seems to speak a lot about him which was painted across his lips as if he is trying to hide something behind that.
He asked the patient to sit and let him calm for a brief moment so as to adapt with the new environment of his cabin.
"Uh Raunak right? Isn"t it?"
"Yes sir", he replied in calm and soothe tone.
"So tell me Raunak, why are you here?"
The question jammed his mind. But after some time he replied, "Because my parents think that something is wrong with me".
Pain lurked from his eyes and the doctor knew that he has hit across the right nerve.
"See Raunak, I don"t know what happened back there making them to think so. So why don"t you tell me your story? Then we can converse fairly as well as talk to your parents about it".
"It isn"t a story sir." he hesitated.
"See Raunak, Let"s just forget everything for a moment and treat it as a story. Moreover I am fond of stories especially good ones and here I"m having an intuition that your one must be among them", Dr Kamath pushed.
"Hmm", he sighed heavily, thought for a while and then leaned forward towards the table.
"I"m telling you this but you choose to promise that you wont utter a word ever again once I am gone", he said in a harsh voice and teary red eyes as if he was trying to scare him."
He went back, took one of his calm composures again and started,
"Back there when I came in this city I was quite a shy guy. An introvert one. Since I knew nobody here I used to hang out alone and felt quite lonely. Slowly, I moulded into the environment, made few friends and life was back on track.
Entered her. She was quite charming and used to talk a lot. We became friends. I don"t know why I fell for her. When I told her she escaped from my life only to come back few days later. We were quite together for some time. I used to forbid her from hanging out with wrong guys, you know what I mean."
Kamath could see a mood swing happening right that moment. So he played his cards well and replied "Yeah I know".
Then Raunak continued, "She left me afterwards telling my love to be the reason for that. I tried to stop her but I can"t. Let me be honest that I can"t tolerate lies. So when I saw her cheating on me , I slapped her, hit the guy badly real bad and you know I"m not sorry for that. And that"s why I"m here".
Kamath can see the rage, the fury inside him; he was quite vulnerable that time.
So he tried to change the topic, "Raunak, Tell me about your friends, what are they like?"
Hmm ,I don"t have many , only one is there whom I believe is the real one for me."
So tell me about him"
He lives with me, is quite shy by nature, but is a good person when it comes to suggest things .
He is the one who told me about her lies. He is the one who gave me the right suggestion to give her what she deserves. But there is a quite a thing about him, whenever I meet him, there is a smile on his face quite mystifying one, I don"t know why I"m quite attracted towards that smile . He is kind of a brother to me . Every day we talk a lot about what"s happening around us and he is quite an efficient person when it comes to suggestions."
Then he paused for a moment and asked," What"s wrong with me doctor?"
Kamath was surprised by this sudden question even though he has concluded his condition, he kept it for his parents.
"No sir, there"s nothing wrong with you just mere stress, nothing else but I would like to meet your friend . Can you fix our meeting".
Look sir, he is quite shy but I will try to persuade him so when you are free just come to my place and let"s chat then. "
"OK! I"ll be there in the evening just tell him to be around"
Then Raunak left the cabin.
Being a good friend of his parents Kamath wanted to be sure of what is really happening to this boy, so he was eager to meet hi friend who was giving him disturbing suggestions.
In the evening Kamath was at Raunak"s place, sitting outside his room while he was trying to persuade his so called friend .And there were noises of things being thrown like somewhat they were in the middle of some serious argument . Finally the door opened and he was there a little confused, "sir , Please come in he wants to meet you now".
When Kamath entered the room there was mess all around as if there was some sort of dual broken within , but for his surprise there was no one other than them in the room.
"Where is he Raunak?"
"There sir ", he pointed towards the mirror.
In the mirror there was a reflection of Raunak with a smile across his face which was kind of disturbing.
That"s what I was talking about sir the mystic smile . Isn"t it?
He was quite excited .
Kamath was set back to a surprised state by change of expressions appearing across his face.

Egocentric yes he was ,

Loneliness and aggression has taken a quite different form in him
An Alter _ Ego


Just_A_Myth Avatar


Commented Jul 22, 2015, 7:35:05 AM
That was so scary I got goose bumps now. I hope I don't get a Alter Ego since I enjoy be alone.
Anyway need to do some editing with quotation but it's really nice work.
Don Roble Avatar

Don Roble

Commented Jul 23, 2015, 5:39:53 PM
You need to leave a space between paragraphs here. It's too hard to read with no indents.
kt6550 Avatar


Commented Jul 24, 2015, 6:28:04 PM
I agree with Don. Plus, you need to do some editing.

Now, this is a very good story. The ending has a nice twist. I would clean it up a bit.