All I Could Do Was Just Dream
I saw familiar figure in distance
Standing in front of the bright window display store
Waiting for someone, but surely not for me, I thought
I stopped in the middle of the street of dreams
All around, people were moving in a hurry
Like it was their last day on Earth
Only the distance figure and I were standing calmly
We held each other's gaze for a moment
And I hoped that she felt the same as I
Our moment quickly faded and she was gone
But for me, time was not important
Again, on the street from my dreams
I met her again, standing by the same store
Waiting for someone, but surely not for me, I thought
The street was far less crowded
And I tried to make my way towards her
Wading through the pools of people
I finally stood beside her
And as she looked in my direction
I was hiding my eyes from pain
Trying to escape my memories and emotions
For this moment, I was unprepared
But she did not seem interrupted by my presence
Smiling, she embraced me and we talked for a while
I told her how much I cared for her and wanted to see her more
But our time together ended and she faded away once again
As I walked down the street from my dreams
Running and bumping into careless people
I desperately sought to see her again
I was caught in the middle of the street of dreams
I pushed through the crowds trying to make my way to her
There she stood, in front of the store
Waiting for me
All around, people were moving in a hurry
Like it was their last day on Earth
Only her and I stood together calmly
I told her of my feelings
And we lingered there for a while, hands held together
Eventually our time together ended.
But I knew I would see her again, on the street in my
dreams
Comments
yuly marina
I keep in this situation
@meesakfitri those two sentences make me confuse to interpret the meaning of this poem. Maybe you have to pay close attention to the punctuation. Overall, I can sense your emotion.
seventhson
risuta
I suggest that you get an editor or a proofreader to read your draft. It's good, but it can be so much better. Keep up the good work. :)
Meesafiktri
In my opinion, in writing a poem we don't need to pay attention. Someone in this forum told me, "In writing poems, it is allowed to break all grammar rules. It is just to make the aesthetic beauty of the poems. Poe has also argued in his essay "The Poetic Principle" (1850)."
Meesafiktri
I think your suggestion is attractive. After I read again, my poem is better using that word. Thank you for your suggestion. Any other word that you suggest to change?
seventhson
Nope :) I only suggest you to change one word in your poem. Overall, it is good.
yuly marina
kt6550