sweet_temptation Avatar
A prose poem by


Submitted Oct 11, 2009, 8:36:02 PM

All I Can't Say

All I cant say

There are so many words I cannot say,
when I look into your eyes.
I want to be able to tell you one day,
but I'm left speechless every time that I try.
You must have stumbled across the key,
and discovered so much more.
You found a hidden place in me,
you found my heart and opened the door.
And I cried in pain
of losing my dear friend.
Will it ever be the same again?
If it passes will it be the end?
I realized it was worth so much,
as I lie in bed that night.
So I allowed my soul to be touched,
without even putting up a fight.
Are my eyes deceiving me,
when I see you standing there?
Are you playing games,
just to prove I care?
You speak my name in a prelude,
in a reference to love,
with such loving attitude,
as if it were a message from above.
With the palms of your hands
pressed firmly against mine,
a white doves lands,
and the sun begins to shine.
Someday I will see,
though that day has not come yet.
You'll say you love me,
but will you ever forget?
If that happens and my spirit dies,
if my emotions drop,
will you want to hold me when I cry?
Or will the love just suddenly stop?
We can't expect to fall in love and never cry.
You'll stay and play your part,
but after the beauty starts to die,
will your footprints still be on my heart?
Though it would be hard to say goodbye,
your friend I'll always be,
as long as we always try,
to keep the friendship between you and me.
The letter I will not send
will casually inquire,
how could you have brought it to an end?
I was your one desire.
After this life is over,
you'll be one person I know I'll miss.
It'll be too late to start over, and so I leave you with this...
I'll hold you for a lifetime,
if you'll just hold my hand.
We could have a wonderful time,
in the days we have not yet planned.


Saad El-Asha Avatar

Saad El-Asha

Commented Sep 22, 2018, 2:03:56 AM
Potent is the word for your poem. I felt the command of the speaker's thoughts. I believe the absence of capitalization bespeaks unwritable sentiments, so to speak. Good job.
AlexScribe Avatar


Commented Sep 29, 2018, 7:30:05 AM
Cook, my standard poetry disclaimer: I'm rather old fashioned when it comes to poetry: I actually favor Poe, Marvel, Coleridge, Wilde, and the Roberts Frost and Service, to give you some idea. To me, even free verse should have a flow and rhythm when read aloud to distinguish it from spoken prose. When reading a poem, you should almost hear the music that would make it a song. That said, this didn't seem like a poem but a inner conversation transcribed. I don't see the purpose in omitting punctuation and capitalization, but that seems to have become a sign saying, "This is poetry," when that wouldn't otherwise be obvious. The last stanza seemed singularly unpoetic.

You should probably take my negative comments as an indication that you have a good modern poem.
kt6550 Avatar


Commented Oct 10, 2018, 9:59:08 PM
Interesting, and different presentation. I enjoyed it. Nice job.
Greg Avatar


Commented Oct 13, 2018, 10:15:08 PM
I admit, i struggled reading this. Maybe it's just our tendency to read more left to right than vertically? I just couldn't get over the difficulty and i lost track of the topic.
But thank you for sharing.