After The Rain

The rain dropped its water
on dry leaves
and grounds

The rain dropped its water
on empty benches
and roads

Now,
the sky changes
bright into dark
The weather changes
sunny into rainy

You see,
it always changes

Every second, every minutes, and every
hours
everything in the world changes

Only my love remains the same.

Comments

TrisnaAprilia

Commented Nov 29, 2016, 11:43:57 PM

Nice, aviv. I like the ending. :)

stmufarrohah

Commented Dec 1, 2016, 5:18:29 AM

uh, that's sweet! nice work! :)

Meesafiktri

Commented Dec 1, 2016, 8:14:31 AM

When I first read your poem I guess this is a poem about nature or world because you mention words "rain", "water", "ground", "leaves" and "sky" but in fact, it is poem about love. Your poem is unpredictable. I love it :D

Aviv Khasanah

Commented Dec 2, 2016, 4:01:20 AM

Thank you @TrisnaAprilia, @stmufarrohah, and @Meesafiktri for the comments. It is very fine for me if you want to criticize my work. That would be great. Just feel free. :)

Nurwanti

Commented Dec 4, 2016, 8:00:24 AM

"Only my love remains the same".
Your last stanza made me fascinated.

but, is this actually a love poem? @avivkhazanah

Yuke Yovrinda

Commented Dec 4, 2016, 8:15:32 AM

I do like these simple poem, particularly in last stanza. For me, it's impressing.

Aviv Khasanah

Commented Dec 4, 2016, 1:32:16 PM

@Nurwanti yes, you may call it a love poem.

Aviv Khasanah

Commented Dec 4, 2016, 1:33:21 PM

@Yuke thank you yuke

Saw233

Commented Dec 9, 2016, 11:10:37 AM

You really like to make a twist in a poem right? But I think you are forcing it in this poem. I get the feeling when I read the first and the second stanza, but then it seems like you have no more words to say and decided to write anything to make your poem longer. A short poem is good as long as you can evoke the readers' emotion, what do you think?

Feny F Dewi

Commented Dec 9, 2016, 12:07:01 PM

What a beautiful ending :)

Aviv Khasanah

Commented Dec 9, 2016, 2:34:22 PM

@Saw233 haha lol. I can't stop laughing when i read your comment. You know, you maybe right about 'no more words to say and decided to write anything to make your poem longer'. You noticed it. It is also right that I like to make a twist. To evoke the readers' emotion, we do need good words. Actually this is my first poem. I dont really have good words to write. So that's why it is. Do you have any suggestion how to get beautiful words to write in poems?

Aviv Khasanah

Commented Dec 9, 2016, 2:36:48 PM

@Feny F Dewi well, thank you feny :)

A prose poem by

Aviv Khasanah

After The Rain

Comments

TrisnaAprilia

stmufarrohah

Meesafiktri

Aviv Khasanah

Nurwanti

Yuke Yovrinda

Aviv Khasanah

Aviv Khasanah

Saw233

Feny F Dewi

Aviv Khasanah

Aviv Khasanah

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