ShaneH Avatar
A romantic fiction story by


Submitted May 5, 2019, 4:23:30 PM

A strange Enchanted love story

Nathan found himself in an enchanted maze. The perfectly cut bushes aligned with white and pink flowers served as the walls of this confusing place.A place where time slows down, every second feels like a day. The only way to get out was to solve the clues and riddles at each turn. One wrong turn can be catastrophic.
Eventually, after figuring out a couple of these clues, he found himself stuck, unable to go further. He was thinking to himself at this time, that he may have to spend the rest of his life here. Days passed by, there seemed to be no hope.
Then, to his surprise, he looked behind, and saw a beautiful girl with a white dress standing in the distance.Her name was Serena. She was slim, dark brown curly hair that lightly bounced with the wind. Her light brown eyes immediately drawn towards Nathan, and his eyes was fixed upon hers. Immediately, there was a feeling of hope, love and happiness here, as they were both trapped here for a while, all hope was lost until this very moment. He walked up to her. She gave a golden smile and said “Hi”. he was nervous, but still said “Hi” back. From there, they were both happy they found each other in this enchanted place. They both decided to walk through this together, combining wits and intelligence.
As time went on, they were solving the mystery of this maze. They also became more interested in each other, as they both realized, upon spending all this time together, that they had lots in common. The force of attraction got them, love was in the air, and they both shared a moment where they looked into each other’s eyes, she said, with a smile of excitement, “ What are you thinking?” he smiled back, gently ran his fingers through her hair, and brushed it behind her ears. He leaned in , gave her a kiss on the cheek, and said “Thank f\you for coming into my life and saving me”. Her insides went wild, her heart was beating harder than ever before, her smile was enough to light up the sky. All she could say was “Thank you for saving mine, thank you for keeping me happy.”
From then on, they both realized they were in love. THey continually held hands, he often putting his hand around her as they walked through every challenge. It felt perfect, it felt like they would eventually reach the end, and that nothing could stop them now.
They came across a riddle, that seemed like any other. They were wrong. As they took the lane into what seemed like hope, she found herself falling into a sleep. As she dropped to the ground, tears immediately filled up Nathan’s eyes. She wasn’t responding. He was on top of her, calling out to her with all hope and desperation of waking her up, “My love, where have you gone, what has happened to you?” he cried out loud. He was in shock, his heart immediately fell into deep pain. He stood over her crying his heart out. Why this enchanted maze did this to him, why has the maze taken his heart and soul away, his love, his only hope for life, his true love.

WHile he had his head on her chest, still in tears, her spirit rose. She told him that she loved him very much, but couldn’t stand to see him in so much pain. She also was in immense hurt from what happened. She realized that they could no longer be together now. This crushed her. But Nathan didn't want to let her go. Although he knew that she's no longer around physically, he just couldn't let her go, he could not stop loving her, because his love for her was too strong, it might just be true love he feels.
Serena realized the more her spirit stuck around him, the harder it would be for him to let go. She told him that he can get through this maze all on his own, to use all the skills she taught him, and he shall make it through. Even in spirit form , she had to finish the maze.She was quite the intelligent person, and used her skills to pace forward on the maze, but all the while tearing up her heart. She had to leave her true love, but she had to do it so he could be happy once again.
Nathan however, still couldn’t accept what happened. He loved her with all his heart, with everything that he was. He thought that even being with her as a spirit was still better than a life without her. It was true love, he couldn’t love another. So with all that he had, he pushed forward, he did the beat that he can.
Eventually, he reached a large clearing. He saw trees, a huge green garden with flowers, a lake far off in the distance. He made it out! He could see other random spirits just roaming around. He thought she had to be here, so he walked around, all the while searching for his Serena. He saw a tree, with a big branch extended out to one side. He saw Her! She was sitting on the branch, facing the other way, just gazing far off into the distance, with tears in her eyes, just knowing she can’t be with her Nathan.
Nathan climbed the tree, and sat next to her. With tears in his eyes, yet putting on a smile because he was all too happy to see her, he said: “Serena, I made it through the ,maze only because of you. I was lost, I felt like I could never feel happiness, that I would be stuck in a dismal place forever, then when you came along, you showed me the power of true love, that it can overcome anything. I know that in my heart, there is no one I can love more than you, there is only you. You are the most beautiful person I know. I rather spend the rest of my life with you in this form than not have you at all, because my life without you will not be a life worth living, I won’t have true happiness. The short time I have spent with you has made me realize that I can't live my life without you. ”
Serena started to cry. She knew more than ever that true love existed. “Nathan, you really have shown me that true love can get through anything. Thank you for being the best part of me and loving me. I love you with all that I have, from the deepest part of my heart, i love you”.
Nathan leaned in on her, and put his arms around her as if her physical self was there. Although he couldn’t feel her, he started to kiss her as if she wasn’t a spirit. As they shared this strange kiss, she started to glow. In a second, he started to feel her lips, he felt her body in his arms. Sher felt his embrace. They were both shocked, she came back! They have never felt happier, tears of joy started to flow, and then they shared what seemed like a forever long kiss.
“I can’t believe it, you’re here Serena my love! I’m never letting you go again! You are all that i need to make me happy, and I promise to forever spend my life making you happy.” He said. “You already have Nathan, you already have made me the happiest I could ever be just with your heart and your love”. They both spent the rest of the day in each other’s arms on the tree, looking into distance and enjoying the sunset together.
A happy ending if there ever was, true love prevailed, they could now get the chance to spend and end their lives together.
The feeling of true love, and that love being reciprocated back to you is probably the most beautiful feeling in the world.
For all those reading this, I know this story may sound like a fairy tale ending, but it can be a reality. If you see a chance at true love, let it be known, express it, don't let ego and fear get the best of you.


Wortleyhen Avatar


Commented May 18, 2019, 8:58:12 AM
Problems with tenses noted. I did read to the end although I the ending was predictable. It was like reading the outline of a novel rather than a short story. If the writer took one little section and carefully worked it up - that might be intriguing and hold the interest of a reader.
kt6550 Avatar


Commented Jul 13, 2019, 8:54:37 PM
Well, it is a lovely story, but as Wortleyhen said, you have some problems with tenses.

Also, you need a good edit. Here is why: "They also became more interested in each other, as they both realized, upon spending all this time together, that they had lots in common. " This sentence is really rough. You have several of these in this submission. You should clean them up.