Aqoun Avatar
A prose poem by


Submitted Jul 14, 2018, 12:47:47 AM

A sleepless day

Haunted by demons I ran away
From the faceless one that stayed behind
Stopped, by a wall made of fear and regret
Blocking all that lays beyond

I turn around
Seeing myself, a mirror leaving nothing else in view
Gazing into a reflection, of a past that once was
Beside that, a flower

But the closer I get, the faster it turns to stone
Staring right at me, forcing me to see
Sudenly, a bell rings and calls upon the day
It is time indeed, time to sleep the day away


DharmaChaser Avatar


Commented Jul 14, 2018, 6:37:54 PM
Your imagery is great. I especially love the image of the flower, and as I get closer, the more it turns to stone.... which goes along with the theme of "Everything I touch turns to shit, and who am I even?! Everything around me is scary and intimidating, moving forward or back." An incredibly relatable concept and feeling.

The first stanza confuses me. I don't feel that decay fits the imagery.

I read this as "I don't know who I am. I'm scared to move forward, so fear is what's stopping me." The flower is a glimpse of the more fruitful future (or maybe a yearning for the past) but I'm afraid that I'll screw it up if I strive for that future (or I'm not meant to strive for a idolization of the demons of my past). And looking behind me is scary too because, I don't know who that person is. I don't want to live with those demons, that's not me, so who am I?

Aqoun Avatar


Commented Jul 14, 2018, 11:17:21 PM
Thank you for Your feedback Dharma. Seems like you liked it more then I do myself at the moment.
Decay is not really a word i use a lot so it did feel a bit forced in there.

I've already changed a few thing but still not where I want it. If you liked the previous lines more or if you see something else Let me know.
kt6550 Avatar


Commented Jul 22, 2018, 4:01:36 PM
This is a tough one. I find it a bit unusual, starting with the title: "A Sleepless Day." Most people have a sleepless night.

I get the feeling that you are trying to describe a nightmare, and having a problem with that. May you should play around with this, make it more of a free verse, or something along those lines.