KNOX Avatar
A prose poem by


Submitted Jan 27, 2003, 10:08:22 AM


Sleep comes to take me away,
Loneliness seems here to stay,
Visions dancing like young tree limbs,
Precious life that I?d give for him,
And suddenly, my blanket turns to stone.
I?m all alone
Shuddering within the darkness???

Shattered glass reveals the light,
Evades the darkness on the night,
Specks of dust swarm around the windowsill,
My bed is warm,
Yet I feel the chill,
I can see his face,
But I can?t recall his name,
Who?s to blame?
A soft caress,
I turn away,
Young at heart,
The children play,
Gasps of life soon fill the air,
My heart is weakened,
But I don?t care,
The blood has spilled,
Over fiery pits of hell,
I?ll never tell,
Shuddering within the darkness??


MizzFury Avatar


Commented Feb 26, 2019, 10:32:48 AM
I really loved the concept and this reminded me of poetry that we used to study when I was in primary school.

That said, I felt the flow change near the end quite jarring (now/how/vow stanza). All the previous stanzas had been in rhyming couplets.

The use of the line ‘we are going the buy some beer’ seemed out of place in the style of the poem. The use of rhyming couplets combined with the word school made me initially think this was about younger children leaving school for the holidays rather than college students, so it took me a bit out of the flow of the overall poem.