JVThongprasom Avatar
A prose poem by


Submitted Nov 29, 2017, 3:20:35 PM

A Safe

Oh, Love's not Lust but Trust's a virtue
          When one tells no truth, no further ado
     Shut it, Let it be, Leave him with that whore
     For once she did thee, Karma gives them more
Let he be with coal, when diamond he left
or Let he be burnt, by anguish; what he waste

          Should thou be hurt, Let them out: thy feelings
          For that may help thee; start healing, start getting
     Over whom did not deserve, nor does he, thee
     Thus no remorse should thou have, let he be: set thyself free
The better will come, with faith thou shalt see
While Love's like a safe thou must seek its key

          Oh, the Journey of Love, should it hardens, should it hurts
          But be reminded: it's a challenge, waiting for one thou deserve
     Effortless achievements come and go
     Whilst True Love stays, regardless how high or low

P.S. This is however the real-life experience of my friend's breaking up with her boyfriend, who had lied for quite sometimes and had new lover before even breaking up with her. The word "whore" might be a bit harsh, but it reflects greatly how that woman is, stealing other's boyfriend.


AlexScribe Avatar


Commented Nov 30, 2017, 3:42:52 AM
I'm rather old fashioned when it comes to poetry: I actually favor Poe, Marvel, Coleridge, and the Roberts Frost and Service, to give you some idea. To me, even free verse should have a flow and rhythm when read aloud to distinguish it from spoken prose. And, while poetic license allows some deviations from proper language, there are limits. What I comment on below exceeds those limits, in my opinion.
Note: () means omit, [ means insert.

"Let (he)[him] be with coal, when diamond he left
or Let (he)[him] be burnt, by anguish; what he waste[d/s]"

"Over (whom)[who] did not deserve..." The phrase "who did not deserve..." is the object; "who" is the subject in that phrase.

"... let (he)[him] be:"

"... should it harden(s), should it hurt(s)..."

As an aside, although it may make your friend feel better to blame the 'other woman' people don't steal lovers. The untrue one was undoubtedly as false with the new love as the old, and it isn't stealing when the loot runs after you and jumps in your pocket.
Greg Avatar


Commented Dec 1, 2017, 6:04:18 AM
I enjoyed this. I liked the sounds in my head, although I'm not sure how it would sound read aloud.
Also, Alex, I agree with your feedback.
kt6550 Avatar


Commented Dec 8, 2017, 11:14:56 PM
I liked this. If read aloud, it would give the reader a lot of freedom in interpretation.