Routh Avatar
A general fiction roleplay by


Submitted May 3, 2009, 2:25:39 AM

A Fuckup For The Ages

[The Scene opens to the Sol system, just outside Earth orbit, where the USS Federation has docked with Starbase One. A shuttlecraft launches from the base as an experiment is about to begin. The camera zooms in on the shuttle and goes inside it where the scene reveals Commander Cernaek Routh and Lieutenant Julie Brown preparing to initiate the procedure. The shuttle is starkly decorated, designed for pure business. The floor has a dark navy blue nylon floor covering with a dark grey carpeting down the center, starting from the rear entrance. There are two auxilliary panels on the port and starboard sides of the center of the shuttle, black in color with blue and green icons and text on them. The front of the shuttle is largely dominated by the viewscreen, with a large workstation panel filling the front of the shuttle. Two chairs are in front of the main workstation, one with Cernaek in it and the other with Julie's fine figure filling it's seat.]

Cernaek reaches forward on the contol panel and pushes a button to initializes the warp power relays and prepare to supply power for the experiment. He turns to the lieutenant and says, "Status of the deflector modifications, Lieutenant?"

Lieutenant Brown makes a concerned grimace as she responds, "Ready as they'll ever be sir.... permission to speak freely?"

Cernaek raises a brow and looks at the ensign, "Of course, however I have a feeling I know what you're about to say..."

The lieutenant just stands and moves to the back of the shuttle to pace while she vents. Frustrated, she says "WHY are we even messing with chronometric particles sir?! We barely know enough about them to understand how they work, and now we're going to try and incorporate them into our warp technology? What if the calculations are off? You even said yourself last night that if the calculations aren't perfect, we could get thrown back through time! I'm not up for being eaten by a Tyrannosaur today, alright?!"

The commander rubs his temples, and looks up at the lieutenant. He responds, "I told you that you could back out, and you still can. I can have Ensign Farfield come along instead."

Julie responds in an exasperated tone, "NO, you know as well as I do I'm your best engineer, and you said yourself that you wouldn't trust anyone else for this. Plus I don't want to lose you to the Jurassic period with some newbie engineer who cant even get a particle spanner from his toolkit."

Cernaek leans back and looks out the viewport at Earth, and sighs, "The Federation Science Council has asked us to try this because no one else in the fleet is as capable and well versed in warp technology as the two of us. This technology would make warp travel almost instantaneous. Well it would seem instantaneous to anyone who wasn't on the ship at warp. It moves the ship backwards through time at the same rate as time passes, countering the passing of time during warp. Think about it, a breakout of advanced bird flu hits Alpha colony in the Vargas system. That flu could kill that colony in two days. It takes the Federation 2 weeks to deliver supplies there from Earth. Not anymore.... with this technology, the medication is there the second the call comes in. No wait, and no deaths." He grimaces as he turns back to the lieutenant and says, "Not that I like the chances anymore that you, it's damned illogical... but the possible benefits are too great to ignore."

Julie just crosses her arms and looks down at the floor, nodding to herself. "You're right, and I know... we already talked about it. Alright... lets start then." She goes forward and sits in her chair, pressing a few buttons on the console. She looks at the readouts and begins adjusting power levels and structural integrity fields. "Deflector modifications online, structural integrity reinforced. All systems ready to attempt chronometric warp, sir."

The commander nods, and says "Thank you Lieutenant, open a channel to Starbase One."

Lieutenant Brown presses a few buttons and says, "Channel open, sir."

Commander Routh says, "Starbase One, this is Commander Routh. All systems online and ready to go. Waiting on clearance to attempt chronometric warp." He leans back in his chair as he waits for the response. Bureaucrats and the collared types could take up to an hour to let their mother in the door, let alone grant clearance for a dangerous experiment that could rip a hole through time. After about fifteen minutes, a response finally comes through over the comm, "Shuttlecraft Hydra VI, this is Starbase One hailing. You have been granted clearance to attempt chronometric warp. Good luck and god speed Commander." Cernaek hmmphs to himself before he answers, "Thank you Starbase One. Initializing chronometric warp." The commander pushes a few buttons and the engines of the shuttlecraft begin to whine, and the Earth begins to move off the viewscreen. Slowly at first, but within a view seconds it, Starbase One, Luna and everything is out of view as the shuttlecraft continues to accelerate to warp one. He looks to the lieutenant. "Initiate chronosequencers." The lieutenant pushes the buttons to do so, and a low humming sound can soon be heard.

[Scene Changes to the exterior of the shuttlecraft as it flies by Mars heading for the asteroid field and a blue circle of what appears to be a blue flame of plasma burning as the chronometric particles begin to work. The shuttle is engulfed in a cocoon of concentric pulsating waves of particles, pulsing quicker and quicker around the craft. As they do, the rotation of the asteroids in the foreground slows, finally coming to a stop. The passing of time has become negated by the particles effects. Suddenly everything starts to speed up, in reverse. The asteroids spin faster than they ever have before and eventually all that can been seen is a blur as the camera zooms in on the shuttle and goes back inside, to see it shaking violently and the red alert lights flashing. The klaxons are sounding as they frantically try to figure out whats going wrong.]

"SIR! The process is accelerating beyond our control, and structural integrity is down to 75%, We need to stop this now!" yells Julie, attempting to make herself heard over the screaming engines. "We're going back through time!"

Cernaek frantically pushes buttons as he tries to reroute command relays to regain control. "We can't, we've lost control, but we're going to crash into that asteroid, rerouting all power to structural integrity. Boosting Structural integrity to 500%." The commander signals to Julie to brace herself, and she grabs onto the control panel and the wall to brace herself for the coming impact, as the camera zooms in on her frightened face.

[Scene goes to the shuttle as it hits the asteroid, causing an eruption of chronometric particles which sends the shuttle flying back towards Mars, at the same time, the chronometric eruption rips the deflector from the shuttle and sends it flying towards Earth. The shuttle slows to a stop near Mars, and the scene zooms into the shuttle, where smoke and debris can be scene inside the shuttle, but the shuttle is still mostly intact. Julie can be seen lying on the floor, unconscious, with the commander diagonally laying across his chair, red blood coming from his head. He opens his eyes a little and looks around.]

Cernaek tries to open his eyes all the way but cannot do it, he needs rest. "Computer, approximate year?" he asks the shuttles main computer, as it seems to still work. "Based on star locations, we are in the year 2008 commander." the computer replies in a female voice. The commander grunts, and mutters "Fuck...", and then falls asleep.

[Scene fades to black and then changes to the deflector dish entering earth's atmosphere and beginning to have flames appear around it from re-entry. The dish is like an oblong metal tray, flat and with razor edges and blue lights in a radial pattern around the dishes face. It speeds through the atmosphere like a razor discus of death. Made of an indestructible metal made to last through photon torpedo blasts, and complete with a built in shield to protect it from breaking during crash. It speeds along as the camera pans around to it's rear and reveals that it is headed for the dark side of earth, over Ontario Canada somewhere near Mallorytown.]


Madhatter Avatar


Commented Jan 27, 2015, 4:20:46 PM
Who knew rum could be such a powerful weapon? I laughed on the line, "Say there Matey, do you know ye have a spear in ye leg?" and the Spanish losing on wine... haha,
Side note, I've come to enjoy a rum drink here and there.
pirate60 Avatar


Commented Jan 28, 2015, 9:57:13 AM
LOL!!! You all ready had me with the first line Don. The rest was all bonus. I wonder how Robs going to answer, him being Brit and all. I'm betting on a scather rhetorical of a most humorist recitation. Any one know if what I said made any sense???

To funny mate. Yeah! That's more me.
Rob Kosy Avatar

Rob Kosy

Commented Jan 28, 2015, 9:29:57 PM
Well, Pirate. I critiqued this particular gem many, many years ago before Don removed all his writings from the den.
This, along with the article about commercials, has always been one of my favourites.

If I remember correctly, Don, this was one of a sort of mini-series of posts about us Brits, wasn't it? I remember loving them all.

Great work (again), Don.
kt6550 Avatar


Commented Jan 30, 2015, 1:02:38 AM
lol! Now, this explains a great deal!
Don Roble Avatar

Don Roble

Commented Jan 30, 2015, 1:36:50 AM
I stumbled upon this in an old file. An oldie but goodie.