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Feel free to comment on my work; be it fierce constructive critiques or words of support. You can also find a more recent addition to my "Penana" account.

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Yog_Monster commented on the poem titled Life by seventhson
Nov 28, 2016, 1:47:08 AM
I won't use the all-too-common words "deep" or "insightful" to describe this, just, "Apt". Good work!
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Yog_Monster commented on the story titled Death Row- The Last Meal by Don Roble
Nov 28, 2016, 1:39:05 AM
Perfect use of punctuation in this story allowed it to present both the flat judgement views of Tank McQueen and allowed for a great pacing of humour too. A fine piece of work!
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Yog_Monster commented on the story titled The Opera by Don Roble
Nov 28, 2016, 1:25:17 AM
I don't want to be dogmatic here but there is an error in the description: "...So good that he had to beat clients off with a stick. He" ( The lone 'He' ). Also in the fifth last paragraph is "... ...
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Yog_Monster commented on the story titled Rats! by Don Roble
Nov 26, 2016, 12:00:00 PM
The opening paragraph is unsuitable for a plethora of people including some young adults; I suggest that you label this story as "Mature" for that level of graphic content.

Otherwise, an...
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Yog_Monster commented on the story titled The Crosstown Flood by Don Roble
Nov 26, 2016, 11:52:12 AM
The story was strong in content but weak in tempo. Excessive use of periods made the story elements stammer at points where it was unnecessary, giving it a short sharp rhythm in the non-action...
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Yog_Monster commented on the story titled The Opera by Don Roble
Nov 26, 2016, 11:38:49 AM
Although I find this short story quite powerful in the imagery that it conjures up, it does suffer from some minor grammatical errors that act as caltrops to someone who focuses on the small things...
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Yog_Monster joined The Den
Nov 24, 2016, 8:57:25 AM

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