astarte commented on the poem titled Grandma's Lullabies by Lonelyhearts1224
Aug 8, 2018, 8:26:59 AM
Such a heartwarming poem! Well done!
Without being an expert in poetry I think you need to work on the structure of your poem. For example: "Transgressed the torment that pierced my...
astarte commented on the poem titled The way she loved by aSin
Apr 11, 2017, 9:44:25 AM
Nice poem. Good job.
These are two things I noticed: "For no others name would it mention." - other's "To love is truly be killed." - "To love is to truly be killed."
astarte commented on the poem titled The Rat And The Cat by pirate60
Apr 11, 2017, 7:00:31 AM
I really enjoyed reading it, pirate! Well done!
astarte commented on the article titled How It Feels by bhavnabkumar
Apr 6, 2017, 9:20:49 AM
There are a few grammatical and punctuation mistakes in your essay. I'm sure you'll find them if you read it again carefully. These are a few examples:
"In this age of open letters...
astarte commented on the poem titled Deep Within by Shawldancer24
Apr 5, 2017, 12:16:58 PM
A few of the mistakes I noticed:
"until the broke into a bunch of splinters and slivers." - It should be "until they broke..."
"she grew so tall facing each years passing...
astarte commented on the poem titled Giving up by SirSludge
Apr 5, 2017, 11:09:36 AM
"It burns with stability, my soulles fuel." - Here I think what you wanted to say is "my soul's fuel."
Good job. As the title says it is about giving up and I liked the way you portrayed the...
astarte commented on the story titled I'm new and would like some feed back by Roger Wordcraft
Mar 27, 2017, 7:40:41 AM
As Don said you have to fix those errors but other than that it's a very good. Well done.
astarte commented on the story titled Energy - Prologue by Nexeus
Mar 27, 2017, 7:01:36 AM
This is an interesting start to your story, Nex. There are a couple of minor spelling mistakes that you'll notice if you read it carefully like "Feer flooded Aelian..." instead of fear or "Septis...
astarte commented on the story titled A mind's play by LTheRed
Apr 11, 2016, 3:41:22 PM
It could work as a prologue to a story, indeed, and I would like to see what you can do with it. I have to say, though, that I liked it as it is and I think it can stand alone just fine.
astarte commented on the story titled Esther by golden_monarch
Jun 15, 2015, 5:00:10 PM
Interesting. I'm looking forward to see where you'll go with it.
astarte commented on the story titled Ancestor - Prologue by Nexeus
Jun 13, 2015, 8:25:45 AM
A very good introduction to your story, Nex. I'm moving on to the next chapter.
astarte commented on the poem titled I want you so bad by Blood_Black_Rose
Mar 18, 2015, 8:02:17 AM
I think I've read this before but didn't realize it until I was halfway through it. Nice job!