"From Ice cream to Alcohol"

Sonnet written by fabellara01 on Thursday 16, August %14

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Description
pure discouragement and melancholy

Overall Rating: 89.1%

This writing has been rated by 2 members, resulting in a rating of 89.1% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:90%
Imagery:85%
Spelling & Grammar:92.5%
Flow/Rhythm:88%
Vocabulary:90%
Oh love, come now why you so dare? To whom and when do you so care? Forsake this sense it blindly aims Not I nor her, but you I blame! She cries to hear this heart confess To see her tears, what do express? That love she hides for someone else Do I not suite the ring and bells? Oh yes, I know there is no chance No doubt there is no second glance I know she suites what's banned and feared It's time for me to have some beer What now? my mind is blank and clear This night goes on for you, my dear
   

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4 comments

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  • That was awesome. I liked every part of this poem, from the title to the end. Your a better writer then me. Smile Keep it up man.
    - August 16 2007 19:10:41
    • thanks.. i dwell in the wonderful finite wall of sonnets. hehe Wink
      - August 16 2007 22:19:08
      • Well structured dude. Just a little correction in line 12
        "Its time for me to have some beer"... Use "It's" instead of "its. "
        Overall I like how you conveyed the image of this piece. Wink Good title by the way... Padayun lang Franz!
        - August 17 2007 01:59:09
        • hey.. finally made an account. which site did you say you read my last poem again? i forgot. but anyways, i'll try to read the poems you posted here. im sure they're kick ass.

          love love love,
          rq-holic

          p.s.
          read my poems. tell me what you think.
          - November 26 2007 07:54:32