The classroom was silent as the grave. The grey and rainy sky reflected her feelings. The other students were looking shocked, and the teacher was on the verge of tears. A student had died last night. Tears flooded down her cheeks when his name was pronounced. It wasn't enough to be called in the middle of the night by the police, or to have her mother hold her for hours, waiting for her to start crying. The thing that finally made her listen, finally made her realise reality, was the tired, boring, tearful voice of her most loathed teacher. She was all alone again. He had cared about her when nobody else saw how much pain she was in. He had pulled her back to life and made her enjoy it once more. He had been the only one who had cared for her without expecting to get something in return, and she had loved him for it. He had promised her he would never leave her. And now he was gone for good. And if I go, while you're still here... Why did he have to leave her? She didn't know what to do, she was lost without him. A helpless little girl in a huge and scary world. All her plans, her hopes and dreams about the future, all destroyed by some evil turn of destiny. It had been a car accident. He, who always drove so carefully and never drank before driving, had been killed in a car. The other car had slid in to his roadway, even though it hadn't been icy or slippery on the roads at all. The most careful teen driver she knew killed in a collision. The police thought the driver of the other car had been drunk. He had gotten away with a broken leg and a $500 fine. Know that I live on, What was she going to do? How was she supposed to continue to live when he was gone? Her heart had died with him when the car hit. He had gotten the easy role; he was the one who had died first without having to go through the pain of being parted. She was going to suffer, all alone again. Vibrating to a different measure She didn't believe in an after life. She would never see him again, wouldn't live with him for eternity. It was hard to realize that she would never see his face again except from on old photographs. She wouldn't get to talk to him again except from in her mind and in her dreams. "Thomas was a kind boy, a fellow human and a good and caring student. We will never get over the loss of someone like him to the school, the town and the world. His friends and family will never forget him, but remember him with love and regret. Regret for his early passing, and love for all his qualities..." What did the teacher know of love? -behind a thin veil you cannot see through She would never understand how much Thomas would be missed. Stupid teacher who tried to talk about him as a top student who would be missed deeply. Filthy racialist hypocrite. It had been common knowledge that the English teacher disliked Thomas more than any other student. The tears kept rolling down her cheek, and didn't show any indication to stop. She wanted it that way. If her eyes wept, it would stop her soul from crying blood. She would never see him again. You will not see me, "He was a popular student with many friends. Thomas was never seen on his own, and rarely without company of at least one girl." She had been by his side as long as she could remember. He was popular, both among the girls and the guys, and she was a nobody who followed him. He had cared about her. He had had many chances to get someone better, prettier and cleverer than her, but he had never wanted one. He had kept her close despite all the temptation he was getting. So you must have faith. God was dead to her. How could she possibly believe in anyone who was supposed to watch over her when he had let her loved one die in a car accident? She had lost her faith in Him when her boyfriend died. She had lost a lot of things in the fatal second when the other car slid. People turned to look at her. She pretended she didn't notice when they sent a compassionate smile her way. None of them had really given a damn about Thomas, who he really was. Sure, most of the girls in her class had had a crush on him at some point, but that was just because of his looks. She was the only one who really knew him. I wait for the time when we can soar together again, "We will never know why this happened, such a terrible thing to all of us. I can only hope that those of you who knew him and loved Thomas will learn to live with the enormous loss of his passing." The teacher sat down, finally leaving the room in silence again. The sounds of the traffic came in through the windows. The cars just kept driving, ignoring the fact that somebody had been killed by it last night. People had to go to work to earn their living, or they just had to try their new sports car in public. They didn't have the time to stop and think about what it meant that a boy had died, a life had been broken and a heart torn apart. They had better things to do. The drivers didn't need to worry about becoming a road kill; those things just happened to somebody else, not them. Both aware of each other. The bell still rang as it had before. Students all around her grabbed their bags and walked out of the classroom in silence, paying their last respects to a classmate that would never come to school again. She just sat there, pretending she couldn't hear the teacher who tried to talk to her. Nobody would ever understand how much she missed him. She would remember him every day, she swore to herself. She would never feel for somebody else the way she felt for him, the handsome black boy who never got along well with authorities. She remembered the time he had been arrested by the police, suspected for a bank robbery. He hadn't had anything to do with it, but the police had thought he had. They were looking for a scapegoat, and a young black boy in expensive clothing had fit perfectly. He had spent over a week in jail before he was released with an apology. The robber later proved to be a middle-aged white man, son of a famous millionaire. Until then, live your life to it's fullest, She remembered the first time he had kissed her. It had been during the first celebration of July 4th they had shared. When the first fireworks had lit up the sky, he had pulled her under a tree to get her by himself. She could never watch a display of fireworks again without thinking about him. The memories kept coming, and she recalled the first day on Columbine High School. They had been so full of expectation, longing to fulfil the dreams they had carried for so long. Everything was going to be perfect. Their image of school soon changed. The Columbine High School shootings stole their innocent dreams of life, placing many fears there in stead. She had been so scared when she heard the first shot. When it was all over, she was trembling like a leaf in strong wind. She hadn't calmed down before she had his arms around her, his voice telling her that he was all right. They had survived. And when you need me, She needed him so much. She hadn't been a day without him since she was five, how was she supposed to live on without him? She didn't know what to do, she was helpless without him. He was the one reason that she had kept on living, and now he was gone. He had saved her when she had thought she had nothing to live for. The pressure of school work and her parents' divorce had almost broken her. When she had to meet her father's new fiancé, she wanted to die. Her stepmother-to-be had made her feel so insignificant, so troublesome. She felt like she had nothing to live for. He had called her just in time, and made her rethink it. He had hurried over and talked her out of it, making her realize how much she would miss living and how much it would hurt him if she died. She had stayed alive for him, continued to breathe to keep him from getting hurt, and now he was dead. Just whisper my name in your heart "Thomas," she said to herself, her voice trembling. "Thomas!" Her voice was so low, nobody could hear her speak. To her, it seemed like she was shouting it, feeling her throat tear at every syllable. Nobody answered. For the first time in her life, he didn't come when she needed him the most, didn't hurry over to tell her everything was going to be all right. She was on her own without his comforting voice. ... I will be there. He really was gone.