Just a name

Poem written by Markdaps on Friday 30, March 2007

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Description
An Acrostic Poem

Overall Rating: 89.84%

This writing has been rated by 5 members, resulting in a rating of 89.84% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:85%
Imagery:89.8%
Spelling & Grammar:93.2%
Flow/Rhythm:92.4%
Vocabulary:88.8%
Maybe I'm a fool to think if ever that morning will come: let it be your eyes; let it be your smile or even your brows as they start to meet. for so long I have miss our endless stroll. From houses to hills, until our eyes shall meet, or even more-- i hope. let it be your voice, and let it be your sigh. every moment of Every day. right beside you--how I wish. i still wait for that morning, and now you are just a name hidden in
my paper heart--
crumpled and torn.
   

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Comments

    I like this--almost like a song. The "Me thinks" is very Shakespearian and sets up an expectation for a more formal and structured poem. "I think" would be more in line with the rest of the words. Also "whose" should be "who's" (Contraction for "who is") Wink
    I've edited the first line. I agree that the "Me thinks" part was truly archaic, and I failed to notice that. Thanks anyway. I truly appreciate itWink
    this is good.. attention is focused at the first person but when you read, you see and feel the imagery of the writer.. very contrasting/polar. keep it up my friend.Wink
    hmmm... theSmile first letters of each lines in the second phrase spell ERIN.