I'm Here To Help You
DescriptionWatch out for the government.
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“Good morning, sir, I’m from the government and I’m here to help you”. Old Sam looked at the girl and thought she looked about the same age as his youngest grand-daughter. “Yea, how?” “Well, sir, I’ve been doing a survey of the area-” “Yea. I heard the government was doin’ that. I don’t know why you want to do that here. Hell, we ain’t got no secrets worth knowing ‘bout.” “No,, sir, I’m not here to spy on -” “Now, ya said ya was doing a survey. That’s spying if it’s anything.” “No, sir, we want to help you. I notice you have an outhouse out back and-” “Well it would sure stink in the house. Bill next door put an outhouse on his back porch thinking he wouldn’t have to walk so far to take a crap. It stunk something terrible. His wife, Susie May, told him either put the thing where it belong or she’s leave him. Well, she left him. Pretty girl too. Nice and hefty. I wouldn't go drink beer at his place for a while.” “Umm, sir, if you would let me speak to you, it would make life better for you and your neighbors. We want to help you put a regular bathroom in your house. You’d have running water as well.” “Honey, you notice my land is flat. Water don’t run up, it runs down. How you going to do that?” “We’d hook you into the waterline and the pumping station would pump it into the house.” “That would be stupid. I don’t want to flood my house. Where’d you say you were from?” “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.”