PS Motherhood 18+

Story written by MzRainbow on Tuesday 10, May 2022

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chapter 2 part 1

Overall Rating: 82.2%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 82.2% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:86%
Imagery:85%
Spelling & Grammar:75%
Flow/Rhythm:80%
Vocabulary:85%
*2* “Well, would you stay with me, at my new place? Just Dante makes me very uncomfortable… Vincent just said he won’t be home for a few days.” I asked half expecting and no for a reply. “Yeah sure, I can sleep on the couch or the guest room,” Dyson replied with a smile. "Ugh thank you so much," I replied with relief. Since it was only about 9 the after parties from the festival were still going, and we made it back to my beach house in good time. He did what he said he would do and slept in the spare room of the house. she slept feeling safe that night or at least for the first bit I was feeling safe. It must have been around 3 in the morning. I woke up to a noise downstairs, I couldn’t figure out what it was, so I got out of bed. I heard another crash. “What the hell?” I whispered. I went downstairs to the hallway into the living room and peeked around the corner. Nothing. I just shrugged it off, it must have been in my head. I thought to myself. I turned around to go back to my bed, it was there whatever it was. A black figure.. she felt something wet on me..my neck was bleeding. I screamed and screamed.. Then I started to realize it was a dream because I saw Dyson sitting beside me on the bed with a concerned look. “Hey you okay?” he said. I panicked feeling my neck and around my body. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, you're safe. I’m here.” He grabbed me and hugged me. I didn’t even realize the bite mark on her neck or the pain from it. He slid beside me on the bed and held on to me. Until eventually I fell asleep again. I woke up around 9, and Dyson seemed to be already awake. He was sitting at the living room table having coffee. He smiled at me. “Morning!” he said with a smile. “Morning.” I yawned. “How long have you been awake?” “Not long, don't worry,” he replied. ‘Although I have work today, so if you want to come to my place for the day. If you feel uncomfortable you can come with me to work. I’m sure my boss won’t mind.” “Oh yeah, thanks.” “But I do need you to hurry up, or I’ll be late.” “Oh right.” Chloe went to the bedroom and put on some more formal wear, a pinned stripe women's tox should work. But I kept the collar and chain. As I was putting up my hair I noticed teeth marks on my neck. So I got a bigger collar around my neck to cover it up. The mark seemed to hurt to touch, then I remembered my nightmare. I just shook it off. “Okay, I’m ready.” I came into the living room with Dante standing at the door. “You aren’t getting her, while Vincent is gone.” “Vincent, you sure he’s the good guy here.” Dante laughed. “Either way she doesn’t want you around.” “She will eventually...`` Dante laughed and walked away. “looks like you’ll be going with me to work. In Canada where I live.” “Canada..” Chloe said... “Yeah, Toronto... I came here to help my family. I live in Canada. Oh and this came for you.” “Oh,” Chloe looked at the envelope and the letter inside. “I ask you to leave with Dyson, you will have a home waiting for you there. Sorry for traveling around, I just need to keep you close and safe. Vincent.” Chloe sighed.. “ this better be the last time.” “Oh... I swear I had no idea how he knew where I was working.” “No, it’s not that... I just hate moving around so much.” “I can understand that.” Dyson laughed. He helped me pack everything and including the stuff from the lake house around. We were on the plane and in Canada airport before she knew it. They went straight to the toronto police station. I guessed he was a detective. His partner Leone was a mocha skin tone with dark jeans and a nice shirt. Dyson on the other hand had dress pants, a vest, and a tie. “I was starting to wonder if you were even going to show.” leone said. “And you brought a lady.” He looked at me.. “What are you doing? Dyson you can’t just bring people to work.” “Yes... I know she’s a special case. Chloe just sat at my desk while I talked to the captain.” Dyson said to me and I sat down at his desk. “Leone, be nice! You have no idea what she went through.” I sat at his desk... Starting to get bored I looked around and saw a book. “Lost” I picked it up and started to read it. Dyson came out again. “Okay, Chloe, you are coming with us,” he said. “I know somewhere you can stay until we are done with work.” I sat in the back of the black SUV. They drove for about 5 minutes and they came to the place he was talking about. The Silver tribe inn and bar. We walked in to find a similar dwarven guy waiting at the bar. They walked over to the bar, everyone staring at them. “Dyson, what are you doing bringing a human into my place?” The barkeeper asked impatiently. “Shh, she doesn’t know about us... She’s been claimed by darthens. Your place is the only safe place for her to be.” Dyson whispered to the barkeeper. “She’s claimed by that family... What are you doing? They are dangerous...I can’t keep her safe here if she is claimed.” “Rick, can you help or not? She is special... And has no one else to go to... After work, I will take her off your hands.” Dyson said with a concerned ridden face. “Fine she can stay, but I’m telling you they won’t care about the rules of this ground or bar.”Rick sighed. “ Chloe sweetie, follow me. I will explain to you everything that is going on. You poor thing, you must be so confused.” went down some stairs to what looked like living quarters. He gave me a chair. Then made some tea for them. “Okay old man I’ll be back after my shift, Chloe don’t worry you are safe here.” with that Dyson left. Rick came back with some tea jasmine and chamomile from the smell of it. “So my kid what do you know, and if you are using Dyson.. I will not be kind.” “What... I was just sent away by my parents... I have no idea what you are talking about.” I said, I was completely confused.
   

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    Find some kind of opening. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just something to attract interest.

    Go to Grammarly. It isn't perfect but will help with things we read past. Everyone writes that way.
    Try https://thecriticalreader.com/complete-sat-grammar-rules/ It is excellent.

    Writing is always a work in progress. The way to learn to write well is to write a lot. Keep this story going and post it.
    I'm just trying not to overwhelm readers with how much I've got done. Also thank you for the website I have it bookmarked now.