DescriptionA hand is not always a hand.
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Old Petey was a collector. He collected everything. He was the type of guy you could see the stink. Even a fly wouldn’t come near him. The cops had long stopped picking him up because the other shifts had to fumigate the car. Putting Old Petey in was sure to start a fight. One day Old Petey was scrounging through a garbage can and found a hand. He dug through the rest but the hand wasn’t attached to an arm. Old Petey threw it into his cart. He didn’t know what he could do with it but you never know. Two new cops saw it and called for backup. The two veteran cops saw who it was and started laughing. “Man, that’s Old Petey. He’s harmless.” “Yea, maybe but he has a hand in his cart. We aren’t taking any chance on this. It might be an initiation or something but-” “Jeez, call the Sgt,” the veteran said. The Sgt showed up. He held his nose and went to check the hand. He gave up halfway there. He gagged and vomited. He turned to the four cops and said, “Get Petey to take it to the House. Tell him to ask for the Lt. That lazy ass is always looking for a hand. Let’s give him one.”