Not Laughing Now, Neil

Story written by Don Roble on Tuesday 22, February %23

Member Avatar
Dead last win

Overall Rating: Not Rated

This writing has not yet been rated and therefore this information is not yet available.
Neil graduated high school and went to enlist in the Army. I laughed out loud. He was never going to get in at 120 lbs. Even if he did, he wasn't going to make it through basic training. To my surprise, they took him. I asked how he passed the weight limit. “Well, I ate a lot of bananas the day of the physical and I didn’t take a crap for 3 days. I barely made even at that but I did.” Then he went to the Army training for West Point. After all the politicians made their appointments, the school would fill in the gap. I laughed at the idea he could make it through a tough school like West Point or get selected. He did. A tradition there is to put 50 bucks a head into the kitty. The cadet who finished last in the class gets the money and his choice of assignments. Neil’s roomie finished dead last in the class. Neil got all over him about it in a joking manner. The roomie took it in good spirits and said, “I’m not as smart as you or going to get promoted as fast but I have 50,000 dollars.” Well, there is that.

Rate This Submission

Please take the time to rate this writing once you have read it. Our ratings system allows people to know both how popular the writing is, and how well the general populous of the site thinks it is written. This also allows the writer to have feedback about their writing, so they know if they need to improve their technique, or if they're on the right track.

The system allows you to vote on several aspects on the writing. Refer to the help text below each aspect for an explanation. Consider the different aspects carefully, and submit your vote using this form. It will be instantly weighted with the other votes given.

Depending on the writing type, give your opinion on the overall plot if it is a story, or the concept of the writing if it is abstract such as a poem. Does it seem to make sense, strike a chord with you or seem a well chosen concept? Did the author stick to the concept or did they change mid-thought?
Did the author use words and descriptions that allowed you to visualize the scenes portrayed in the writing? Did the feelings of the work stir your emotions as you read it?
Were the words spelled correctly? Was proper punctuation and grammar used? Could you easily understand sentences or did you have to re-read lines several times to understand what was meant?
Depending on the writing type, how did the writing flow? If it's a story, did it have a smooth, easy to follow flow? Did the flow of events make sense? If it's poetry, did the author stick with the syllable flow for that writing type? Did the lines rhyme properly if a rhyming device was used?
Did the author use the same words over and over or did they use a broad vocabulary to get their exact point across? Could better wording be chosen then what they have used?

1 comment

Leave a Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.
  • Hahaha! I like it!
    - March 01 2022 01:13:03