I didn't ask for you

Poem written by occultoctober on Thursday 23, September %17

Member Avatar
for someone who's been inspiring me lately...

Overall Rating: Not Rated

This writing has not yet been rated and therefore this information is not yet available.
I didn’t ask for you. You came to me, as if in a dream, And offered me a way out And a way in And I took them both. I never wanted you to see me. When my chest opened up against my will And my heart sat there before you, A blinding light, I wanted you to look away. I wanted to hide from you, But I could not escape The warmth in your eyes And the safety of your arms And now I am content here. I didn’t ask for you. You came in a rainstorm, A windstorm, a hurricane, And if - no - when you leave, I know it, too, will be in a tempest. I didn’t ask for you. And yet Here You Are.

Rate This Submission

Please take the time to rate this writing once you have read it. Our ratings system allows people to know both how popular the writing is, and how well the general populous of the site thinks it is written. This also allows the writer to have feedback about their writing, so they know if they need to improve their technique, or if they're on the right track.

The system allows you to vote on several aspects on the writing. Refer to the help text below each aspect for an explanation. Consider the different aspects carefully, and submit your vote using this form. It will be instantly weighted with the other votes given.

Depending on the writing type, give your opinion on the overall plot if it is a story, or the concept of the writing if it is abstract such as a poem. Does it seem to make sense, strike a chord with you or seem a well chosen concept? Did the author stick to the concept or did they change mid-thought?
Did the author use words and descriptions that allowed you to visualize the scenes portrayed in the writing? Did the feelings of the work stir your emotions as you read it?
Were the words spelled correctly? Was proper punctuation and grammar used? Could you easily understand sentences or did you have to re-read lines several times to understand what was meant?
Depending on the writing type, how did the writing flow? If it's a story, did it have a smooth, easy to follow flow? Did the flow of events make sense? If it's poetry, did the author stick with the syllable flow for that writing type? Did the lines rhyme properly if a rhyming device was used?
Did the author use the same words over and over or did they use a broad vocabulary to get their exact point across? Could better wording be chosen then what they have used?


Leave a Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.
  • No Comments have been Posted.