You, the storm

Poem written by occultoctober on Thursday 23, September %16

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Description
just another poem about unrequited love...

Overall Rating: 83.6%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 83.6% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:75%
Imagery:81%
Spelling & Grammar:95%
Flow/Rhythm:83%
Vocabulary:84%
Don’t bother with your words of praise; I know your love isn’t meant for me. Our souls fuse together up in the ether, But our Earthly bodies aren’t meant to be. I can’t tell you that I need you- The way your Earth balances my Air, The way you raise me up and bring me down With one incendiary stare. Set my flesh on fire, Put a knife against my skin, Make me forget the feeling, Then turn your back on me again. I can’t tell you that I want you, So I’ll pour it out in the ways I’m allowed, But my cup will soon run empty, Like rain draining from a cloud. I’d stand in the rain and wait for you If I thought you’d wait for me. I’d give you hints and clues and signs In hopes that one day you’d see, but I can’t tell you that I love you; The wind knocks the air from my lungs. The words are too much for me to say, And the storm has only just begun.
   

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  • Very good! Nicely written! There is some real feeling here.
    - November 18 2021 22:10:11