"First Love"

Poem written by mooshiez on Thursday 8, March 2007

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Description
Remember what you felt like when you were in love?

Overall Rating: 91.266666666667%

This writing has been rated by 3 members, resulting in a rating of 91.266666666667% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:93.333333333333%
Imagery:92.333333333333%
Spelling & Grammar:85.666666666667%
Flow/Rhythm:91%
Vocabulary:94%
"First Love" He looks at me, intensely As I laugh As I cry. He said this is forever As we live As we die. He kisses me slowly On my lips, cheeks, neck, and chest, attempted lovers lost among life's untimely digress. I never knew that boy who blew that calming symphony, and now that I'm with someone else, he is all I see. we cared for one another like two birds above the sky, but like all parades that march the streets, they play to march right by. That summer changed my childhood, my life, and how it ran, that boy who swam inside my soul, and now that boy's a man. He promissed to build my house of oak, with room to express my art, building a dream upon his love, these birds have flown apart. seven years and how our lives cut off, I sleep in my own bed, I feel the touch of a gentle kiss, from another love instead. I traveled back to that one place, of how I used to be, to find that house built by his hands, and him still loving me. God gave us another thrilling chance, to start all over again, the dream I've had a thousand times, a fate I can amend. So, when I'm old I'll carry on, with what I could have had, the thought of something right for me, but I wont be too sad. For I approved the life I want, and where I want to be, I'm on the porch of my oak house, and he's right here with me. Tara N. Smith©2007
   

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Comments

    First love is something we all hold dear. I remember mine fondly and, at times, longingly. Although a common concept for poetry, I never get tired of reading about the sweetness of first love, because it allows me to relive my own.

    This was a fun poem to read and I enjoyed the imagery you used. It brought to mind the tenderness of that first kiss, that first hug, and that first time holding a woman in my arms. There were a couple of spelling mistakes, but they're simple to fix. I enjoy your poetry Tara. Smile
    That is a great poem
    Fantastic!Really enjoyed reading your poem.Your imagery was great.I look forward to reading more of your work.Well done and thank you.