Home Coming cont..

Fantasy written by MissDartit on Saturday 1, August 2020

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So tried to expand on the short story Home coming.

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After playing around in the sky, Lokie instructed the griffin to land on the docks. They both climbed off. Haru admired the animal as he walked around it, his left hand gently gliding through its fur. He knew the Baily siblings all had their own griffin, but he had never seen them in real life. “What’s its name?” he asked as he stood in front of it. “Rigas.” Lokie said as he came up beside him. He reached out his hand and Rigas lowered his head and let his beak meat Lokies palm. “Good boy.” A gust of wind drew their attention to the other griffin landing on to the dock. Haru noticed the rider was not the Lieutenant, but a silver-haired man. He had never seen the man before, but since he had a griffin, he was one of the Baily siblings. The silver-haired man gave the griffin a gentle pat on the side before it took off into the sky, followed by Rigas. “Afei, did you see where Chira went?” Lokie shouted to the man as he walked towards them. “No.” Haru studied the slender man. He was not wearing a uniform, yet the clothes he was wearing was not something a commoner would wear. So Haru knew he was not just anybody. Afei smiled gently at them both. Lokie smiled back and placed a hand on his shoulder. Afei was slightly taller than Lokie, but only by a few centimetres. He watched as they interacted with each other. Even though Afei had silver coloured hair and grey eyes and Lokie had ink-black hair and eyes, Haru could tell they were brothers. Afei turned his attention to Haru. “I do not believe we have met?” Haru snapped back from his thoughts and saluted the man. “Haru Rews, West Wing squadron, sir!” his voice a little louder than anticipated. Lokie tried his best to hold in a laugh. The surprised look on Afei and the seriousness of Haru was priceless. He knew very well that his brother was not a man who cared for rank and tried his best to act as low key as possible. Afei smiled gently at Haru “How nice. I hope my little brothers are treating you well.” “Y-yes sir, very well.” Lokie snickered “When am I not nice?” Afei was about to say something when the ship came gliding past. They watched as the crew shouted and waved at the oncoming crowd. They were not the only ones who had turned up to greet ship as it docked. “Well then, it is time for my leave.” Afei gently bowed at Haru and Lokie and walked in the direction of the street, disappearing in the crowd of people waiting for the men and women to disembark the ship. “Right, funs over. Back to the barracks.” Lokie said and began to walk towards the street. “What about Lieutenant Chira?” Haru asked, jogging to catch up to Lokie. “Don’t worry. I know where he went. Just grab his stuff and take it up to the barracks” Lokie waved without looking back as he too disappeared in the crowd. “Yes Captain.” Haru dropped Chiras bag on to the floor in front of the door to his room. He stared at the door for a second. Part of him wanted to knock, yet another part knew there would be no answer. I wonder where he went? He thought to himself. “Haru.” Someone shouted from across the hallway “you coming?” “Yeah, coming.” he jogged down the hall towards the small group of people standing waiting for him. “What were you doing?” One of them asked. “Oh, nothing. Just dropping off lieutenants’ bag.” He answered. “So, tell us” Another young lad spoke, “How was it flying a griffin.” “Yes, tell us.” The other two chimed in “Not much to tell really …” Haru trailed off “just … FREAKING AMAZING” he went on to describe the flight, down to the tiniest of detail, as he relived the experience in his head. The trio eagerly listening to his every word. “You lucky sod. Captain Lokie has never been that nice to any of us.” Haru smiled at the comment. They continued their banter as they walked towards their rooms, agreeing to meet outside the mess hall to get some dinner. Haru entered his room and tossed his bag on to the floor and flopped down on to the bed. How he had missed his bed, his room. Having to share space with five other people had been fun, but tiresome as the months had stretched on. Haru took a deep breath and released it as he closed his eyes. He could do with a nap he though, however, the loud growl coming from his stomach reminded him he needed food first and foremost. Haru walked up to Aki, who had been the first to arrive. “The rest?” he asked. “Should be here any minute I recon.” Aki answered, looking in the direction of the sleeping quarter. Haru turned and looked in the same direction, spotting two familiar figures rounding the corner. The tallest one of them waved towards them. “Sorry we’re late, this guys just had to go to the library first.” He pointed at the redhead walking next to him. Haru smiled and entered the mess hall alongside his friends. “I never thought I’d say this but, man I have missed this food.” Haru picked up a tray and followed his friends to the queue. The food served in the mess hall was not particularly good food, but after months on the ship eating nothing but dried stuff, he felt like he was about to eat like a king. “Haha. Yeah, the rations are terrible.” The redhead said. The four of them had only met a year ago, during the initiation, and yet they had become fast friends. Now you rarely found any of them without the others. Tomoe, the tallest of the group, came from a very well-off family. Some people in the royal guard would call him a spoiled brat, yet Tomoe never looked down upon others and happily shared with his friends. Aki, who was the oldest by a few months, came from a family of farmers. Shou, the redhead and the quietest of the four also came from nobility, although you could hardly tell. “I see some seats over there.” Aki said and pointed towards the few empty seats at the table in the far-right corner. They walked over and sat down, continuing their banter. Lokie walked down the stone stairs leading to the underbelly of Dalr. Not many knew of its existence, but beneath the city was an even older city. A city where only the dead resides. As he emerged into the cave his eyes adjusted to the dim light produced by the crystals in the walls. He scanned the cave and spotted a figure standing on the hill. Lokie continued down the stairs and followed the path leading up to the crumbled chapel situated on the small hill. “So …” Lokie said as he walked up behind his little brother. Chiras eyes met Lokies and he smiled. “Big brother.” “The ship has docket and your cute young subordinate is looking for you, like a lost puppy.” Lokie lifted his arms imitating dogs’ ears, making Chira laugh. “Sorry, I just … I wanted to say hello.” He turned back to the tombstone he was standing in front of. Unlike the rest of the graves in the cemetery, this one was relatively new and well kept. Chira kneeled and let his fingers run through the name etched into the tombstone, Frøya Baily. “Welcome home, little brother.” Lokie placed a hand on Chiras shoulder and gently squeezed. “I’m home” Chira whispered.

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    "his beak meat Lokies palm." - Try meet here, not meat.

    You got some small errors like this in the story, as well as some punctuation errors. I would give it a good edit.

    That said, the plot is coming along nicely. Well done.
    I'm glad you decided to continue this, I'd definitely like to see where it goes from here.
    Rigas lowered his head and let his beak [meat] Lokies palm. [meet]

    Nicely done. Was most entertaining. Both of us need to get back into it.
    (Pirate grins)