Hurt

Poem written by Fictitiously imaginative on Tuesday 2, June 2020

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Description
Some thoughts I've had when feeling low.

Overall Rating: 87.9%

This writing has been rated by 2 members, resulting in a rating of 87.9% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:88.5%
Imagery:83%
Spelling & Grammar:88%
Flow/Rhythm:90%
Vocabulary:90%
We were standing in the rain, Nobody could see my pain. My eyes were red, I just wanted to go to bed. Every second of life hurt, Completely soaked was my shirt. Didn't know if it was, My eyes or the clouds. My vision seemed to blur, As I shuddered. As I cried and cried, Rain made my tears hide. I wish it would rain often, Or I could hide in a coffin. For the pain is constant, And I don't want this punishment. Sucks to be me, A joke this used to be. But until recently, It has become my reality.
   

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Comments

    Ouch. Not the usual ostentatious tale of woe. Just simple, straightforward rhymes about hard times. Phrases easy to remember by others in the same situation. Like the 'often' and 'coffin'. I thought it was well written.
    No, you do not want to hide in a coffin.
    @kt6550
    sorry, I wrote this when I was in a rough place...life hadn't been going smoothly and I was in a bad place...these were just some feelings that had been felt and I guess the only way for me to actually express them to anyone...but obviously nobody wants to hide in a coffin, cuz eventually things get better.
    Sorry if I offended u or anyone else.