National Maintenance Day

Essay written by kt6550 on Friday 31, January 2020

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A bit of fun.

Overall Rating: 97.6%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 97.6% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

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Note: On another website, I participate in an activity called a "Dash." In a Dash, we are given a prompt and fifteen minutes to come up with something, be it fiction, prose, poetry, whatever. This prompt was "National Maintenance Day" and it featured a man in a nice Oxford shirt getting ready to work in his bathroom. ###### Oh, boy! Maintenance Day! And we get a nice photograph of a man in a nice shirt attempting to do some plumbing. Well, let me set you straight on that. If you are doing plumbing, you are NOT wearing a nice shirt. In fact, you are wearing something old, and maybe torn, with some paint splotches on it. The same goes for the pants. If you are wearing a nice shirt, by the time you are done it will be an old, messed-up shirt. And don't forget to turn off the water! If you don't turn off the water, you are going to have a major league problem. When you detach the old fixture, you will end up with hot and cold running geysers. The pipes will be shooting, full bore, into your kitchen or bathroom, and will probably mess up a few things, like wallpaper, paint, etc. So turn off the water before you start. Now, make sure you have the right tools, and have them there with you. Nothing is worse then getting the old fixture off, and trying to put on the new fixture and you discover you are missing tools. Now you have no fixture, and no water. Make sure you have the right tools! Lastly, and most important, take your time! Do not hurry. Be patient. If you are sweating on new valves, make sure the valves are properly seated. And go slowly. Patience is a virtue. When you are finished, if you have followed the instructions, taken your time, and used the proper tools, you will experience a great deal of personal satisfaction for a job well-done. And you can throw away those old clothes, or wear them again when you are going to change the oil in your car. If you don't follow the above instructions, well, you will have to call a plumber. Plumbers charge about three thousand dollars an hour, and most own banks as hobbies. Get that second mortgage application filled out well ahead of the phone call to the plumber.

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    LOL, I always love the adverts displaying people who clearly know nothing about what they are doing.

    Don't have any really feedback here other than I liked it. Smile
    Ha! If I was doing this I'd be sweating through the whole thing, not just the valves. I can't forget (because my daughter won't let me) the sink she meant to save if only she could remove the faucet. I can do that says dad. The crack splitting the sink apart appeared two seconds later.
    This was so much fun to read. On this piece, like so many here, I dread saying anything. It seems like the ultimate conceit. But here goes though I'm feeling sheepish about it. Perhaps there are too many ewes, I mean 'you's. For example, maybe drop the 'If you are wearing a nice shirt' and just go with 'By the time you are done the nice shirt will be an old, messed-up shirt' You've already referenced the idea of wearing it in the previous sentence. On the other hand, maybe it helps convey how ludicrous it is by emphasizing the 'you' doing it.