Breath

Poem written by Eina on Tuesday 21, January 2020

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Description
Experiences that remind us we are alive

Overall Rating: 65.6%

This writing has been rated by 2 members, resulting in a rating of 65.6% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:57%
Imagery:70%
Spelling & Grammar:73%
Flow/Rhythm:57.5%
Vocabulary:70.5%
The sweet, comforting smell of wood smoke touches every sense and floods me with the exuberance of youth. The sky shines in darkness and the bush moves unnoticed as the grace of a giraffe. Darkness touches the edges of brazen fire light attempting to reveal our fears. I shiver and move closer to the warmth of others as the guitarist begins an exorcism of my soul. Incandescent faces burn into my heart and leave others shrouded in smoke that my will cannot quite grasp. Laughter, sadness, guilt, anger, love, life and loss reflect in those flames becoming the shape of me. My past, present and future collide in chaotic harmony. I am here. I am. I. Time pauses. Patiently allowing the dawn to linger in grey light. Embers glow with promise. I listen to the faint murmurs of tired conversations and await the rising of the sun. Each breathe becomes visible to the sky as proof of my being. I am here. I am. I.
   

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Comments

    This is quite good. I enjoyed it. But is it really poetry? Cool

    @Don. Chaotic Harmony. Listen to the Classical music piece "The Rite of Spring," by Igor Stravinsky
    Breathe should be breath.
    Really nice piece. Descartes said I think therefore I am. You say I sense therefore I am. I like your proof of existence much better.