You bring me Summer

Poem written by jslanaker on Friday 17, January 2020

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Description
That crippling feeling of nostalgia for you ;) I also don't know how to end it so please help!

Overall Rating: 96%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 96% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:94%
Imagery:97%
Spelling & Grammar:100%
Flow/Rhythm:95%
Vocabulary:94%
The summer season is feminine. With the warmth of the sun, glowing and reflecting off the running stream out the yard. My toes creep into the shallow end because I forgot my swimsuit at your house. It’s hanging outside from the window to dry. The kitten ran between my legs and urgently stops when realizing the water before her. She looked up at me and pawed at my legs so I could save her from the rivers surgent waves, at least to her they were threatening. To me, I see small waterfalls and the inspiration to walk among the frogs; they watch me as I trudge upstream with a friendly gal curled up in my arms. I miss the summer because it reminds me of your warm face. It glowed in the moonlight while we sat on the stairs, mosquito’s ate our legs that night because we wore shorts. You poured your heart out to me, expressing to me your lost loves. The bugs landed on you, I think moths like you best. It became one of my favorite memories to reflect on, it’s yours too. You made summer feel like a childhood dream. Around you, I felt no regret. Around you, I truly came to accept and love myself. I have never had such a symbiotic relationship, one truly healthy. You made summer feel like being small again and I snuck out my window to see you and clasp your hand, or at least greatly resisting the urge to do so. I long to see you again. I promise to bring you to all my favorite places. The summer feels like love. The one that grows deep in your heart and overflows spilling to your lungs and coughed out your throat. The summer reminds me of clear, glittery nail polish. Something an adolescent wears or a millennial who is attempting to reclaim their childhood dream of femininity. In a sense, we can relate to both. In the past, summer never meant revealing clothing, not to show yourself off, but to dress appropriately for the changing weather. Summer was anxious thoughts of oversharing myself. Yet as of now, it’s embracing a new side of myself. Around you, I dress in clothes that don’t match. Basketball shorts with a cropped tank top - no bra; long, mismatched socks and whatever shoes I can grab first.
   

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Comments

    This felt very poetic to me, and I can't wait to read more. The imagery at the start especially drew me in.
    Okay, you need to format. Double-space between paragraphs, indent, or both. It makes it easier to read.

    You have a few incomplete sentences, you need to fix them.

    This has a very romantic and warm feeling. Nostalgic, yes. It does need an ending.

    As for helping you with the ending, no way! It's your writing. Take it where you will. Cool