Float Out Volume II: Under the Influence

Poem written by rdm88 on Wednesday 20, November 2019

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Some verses written under the influence in the capital

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Haywire in Haymarket When there's love in Leith Just waiting to be found I'm a tourist everywhere especially in my own mind Where there are lost images and sounds I can never reach and certainly not keep They'll never be mine Drunk in Dalry Lost in the Links it's naturally all the same The dark edges of a consumer's game I'm wandering between words Searching for a sound I already found Long ago then I lost it I can't keep it because I forget my name One day they'll sing their song and we'll all sing along I won't be there I'll be wandering around that day The docks provide no solace The factory is closed today Where is the tour guide? I'm lost and I can't find the last place I checked for my mind #040918 Look behind the mirror Peel the film from the eyes Hear the voice the voice you always hear I'll speak to myself thanks Twenty years to realise 'Til every leaf you gave me withered A curse for certain The calling of the curtain I will hear my own voice I will hear what I have to say You will leave me, I'll replace the glass Every voice I ever heard was the same one Everything changed that day Every day since accompanied by the noise Screaming cerebral toothache shouts So much time under this cloud Poor little guy never saw it coming No life for you my little friend I will revisit this day one day When I come back from around the mirror bend Unfinised Pity-me's & other 'tiny voices' (Marion) I heard a laugh that could have been yours Although you belong to that other world That chewed me up and spat me out As the flag was unfurled At the end of world party We almost confessed our misery was misplaced and that we'd longed for each other In tears of disgrace (Underdark) The clouds descended and it was fine A glimpse too far into the underdark So grim and horrifying Heed the warnings Before a mental blindness sets in Before it envelopes you A river of sorrowful wine On the fringes spying on humanity The black fabrics and walls All melts in 'Jakey bastards flocking together to come to terms with Alcoholism in an unreasonably cheerful way' I need to find a better escape Putting a lot of faith in books Pretty flimpsy Better than my alcoholic 'lifestyle' Drinking with the dying and cavorting with crooks "I'll give up in a while" "It's really not how it looks!" Aye it is ya jake Some droning on about what passes for love and some truly awful lines and rhymes trying to chart another doomed love affair. (I wanted to define you) The shade would rarely get in. Born Sleepy (A Song for Leila) Float away, this haze is heaven Lazy as you like, float away Into the night, into the morning Please float away, with me and without me lover Daydream lover For surely you can't be there In half-sleep and in flesh Don't say "every boy's fantasy" Don't say "I wish I knew you when I was younger" Don't say "I love you" Unspoken, unwritten rules that nobody knows Written by whom? Not our daydream We can be anywhere we want, anytime But only in these times Steal all my Mondays, make them happy Make it clear, "define me in verse!" You'd never want that, while you sleep Sleep, we have another hour Float away but only gently Smother me and take me somewhere else Smother me and change my whole outlook Hold on, I can navigate this Exasperated, don't drift away Stay warm, stay sleepy Don't let good morning (which we never said) Turn into good night We never meant for this Don't tell her you'll write her a message In the stars, with stars It's been done Change channel Let's go back to our daydreams There was never any other way "Glad you liked it" Float out on kisses Stay sleepy, float away I'll define you somehow 'Maths in Psychology (Visit Life Sometime)' I could wish I hadn't spent my life dreaming up a new one I could wish that being terrified wasn't my main motivation I could wish I hadn't wasted my youth in a cult I do wish that she never had to bear the pain of separation Yet here we are and here I am I could wish that I had any say in my own life I could wish that I was just once able to make you proud I could wish that you met someone else and had a different son I was too busy running from an ever blackening psychotic cloud To notice where I was going I could wish that I found it easy to get along with living That my mind wasn't constantly preparing for an air raid From inside of it's own chambers Wading through the dust and ashes that were of stupid dreams made It's easier to set the bomb off myself I could wish that I was a part of something I wish this cackling cacophony would fucking stop I wish that I didn't have these cursed genes That there was another way to let them rot That there was another way to anywhere All in all a pointless life has been led The wind chasing me out of another town "Sorry son but your dreams are all dead Because you wouldn't put the bottle down" This fucking voice follows me everywhere I can only block him out with the elixir of misery Then the world really starts to burn Because I never could envisage me Not ending up in this cheap little urn Discarded and forgotten by everyone I could wish for absolutely anything, a hallelujah in the storm Perhaps I'll let the sky fall at the world's end And keep trudging, hoping, marching, walking on and on Picking at my flesh until the time is spent "It doesn't have to be this way" you say "None of this is an accident" you tell me I've been drunk for so fucking long That I didn't notice you trying to help me I don't deserve it I only deserve to die I don't have one shred of contentment or confidence And that's what you're trying to sell me? "Yes, and it's my job. I'm not a character in a dream or a story.. I'm not an illusion that will go away soon, Put the bottle down and step out of the trench you've made Stop trying to pick cherries from the moon I can't give you back the last two decades I can't make you a promise I can only pull back the curtain and lift the veil Of contempt you have lived behind I'm not offering you a hallelujah or salvation I can't get the clouds to stop You can stop wishing now, I'm very good at my job Try this new life and remember that everything you thought Was both wrong and right in it's own way You don't have to understand how I solved the equation You'll always be prone to your sadness and ruminations Sometimes that voice might return Don't set the world to burn when it does Just remember there's maths in psychology and there's no such thing as 'all of me'" Ferme la porte, turn it off The wind blows wherever it goes Come out of the shadows Visit life sometime © 2019 Tourist the Sleepwalker

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    When you say Volume 2 you need to use the same name as Volume 1.

    You also need to have some volume. You don't have enough for a Volume 2.

    I don't see any flow to this. You have different numbers of lines in a verse. You need to pick a number of sentences and stick to it.
    Same comment as for Volume 1.

    However, I really enjoyed "Maths in Psychology."