Dead or alive, people can be a pain in the ass.
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The Mortician’s Assistant
Jimmy took the job as the Mortician Assistant knowing that one thing we would always have is dead people. Most families wanted to see the bodies before they went six-feet under. Since everyone dies, the job had a great future. He believed that few people wanted to work with the dead. He also knew he would make more money than a lot of people with BA's and BS’s. He never thought he could make it through a four year college. He also didn’t want to have to pay off the student loans.
George Hill, the Mortician knew that fewer and fewer people wanted a career in the field. They all wanted to be in some useless career that amounted to nothing. He had to take what he could get and get as cheaply as possible. That’s why Jimmy was doing his internship after his two year Associate degree. He was making a lot more than his friends. Jimmy didn’t do too bad and asked a lot of questions.
“Jimmy, take the hearse to the hospital at 3a.m. And pick up Tom Davers,” George said.
“Jimmy, he’s dead. We are going to have the viewing here. We need the body, Also, I told you to do it.” This was not a good start.
“I know that. I don’t want trouble with you. I just wanted to know why 3 a.m. If he’s dead, what difference does it make when I pick him up. Oh, crap! He isn’t going to smell bad if we wait is he? Oh, man.” Jimmy had a sensitive gag reflex. This job might not turn out well.
“No, the hospital has a rule. It’s 3 a.m. for pick up. I was once told it was break time for the third shift. They didn’t want a hearse there when their were visitors. It was a bad image” George thought that was a good idea. His grandfather went when he wanted. That was changed when patient visitors started asking who the hearse was for.
Jimmy went to the hospital to get Tom Davers. It took a while to find someone who knew what he was there to do, The Jimmy was told that no one knew where he was.
“Well, he has to be here someplace. He didn’t walk out, that’s for sure. He’s dead.”
“I know he’s dead. Did you know that?” Jimmy was a little disgusted with this guy, Why did he think Jimmy wanted the body? The organs were unusable this after this time, if the organs were still there.
“Of course I knew that,” the attendant said.
“So, where is he?” Now, there's the question.
“I don’t really know. Have you looked in the Dead Room?”
‟I just got here. You saw me come in. I have no intention of looking for him That’s your job to know where he is”
“Okay, okay. You know he isn’t ain’t roaming among anymore.”
Eventually Jimmy got the body back to the mortuary. He removed all the street clothes never to be seen again. H replaced them with a suit, also never to be seen again He had to admire the man’ penis but there was work to be done. Jimmy turned to get his tools when Ton Davers sat up, farted and belched. It wasn't unusual but they never covered that in class. Jimmy ran up the stairs and down the street never to be seen again. He had to admire the man’ penis but there was work to be done. Jimmy turned to get his tools when Ton Davers sat up, farted and belched. It wasn't unusual but they never covered that in class. Jimmy ran up the stairs and down the street never to be seen again.