Fantasy written by RedForest on Thursday 20, June 2019

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This was my first mini draft of my first ever piece,please don't be harsh it was hard for me to put it up in the first place.Tragedy strikes and a boy is sent to another land,2 left 1 arrived

Overall Rating: Not Rated

This writing has not yet been rated and therefore this information is not yet available.
Chapter 1 - Broken ‘’Greggory I can’t believe how nerdy you are man,’’ Lewis said,smirking as he teased Greggory,Lewis was a fine boy nobody would call him handsome but nobody would call him ugly.He had silver hair and blue eyes,the silver hair was from when he went and dyed and found out it was permanent dye. His father stays at home with him but his mother passed away when he was 12, Greg was there for him. ‘’First of all,don’t call me Greggory and second of all,it’s true! There was a girl who went hiking out in the forest and she disappeared.’’ Lewis had been friends with Greg for 5 year ever since they were 10 and they had an unbreakable bond.Greg,was a slight bit larger than Lewis and he was more into sci-fi and he was the closest person in the world to Lewis.He had brown hair and brown eyes and instead of having glasses he liked to wear contacts with pictures on them.Lewis replied confused and unsure of Gregs sanity ‘’Ok cool and all but how do you get from that to a P-O-R-T-A-L and then even to another world! It just makes no sense i’m sorry.’’Greg felt hurt as if Lewis had just thrown all his emotions out of the window, ‘’I have proof,i mean, the girl was researching on how to travel to other worlds and there was even traces of radiation near the area she went missing.’’ ‘’How do you know all this? It happened yesterday,’’ asked Lewis as his scepticism grew,‘’ Remember? My dad works for the police he was one of the first to learn of this.’’ ‘’Oooooh ok yeah i remember now.’’ The two of them ended up at school after talking for an unordinary amount of time about Lewis’s bad memory.After all their classes finished and it was about 3:30 the undefeatable duo met up. ‘’Hey,you know what would be fun? Going up to the place where that girl disappeared last night!’’screeched Greg ‘’One,no two,No three,NO and four don’t screech like that you sound like a banshee.Hold on though, like seriously, you want us… to go to where a girl disappeared...LAST NIGHT.’’ ‘’Who are you calling?’’ queried Greg, ‘’An insane asylum.’’ Greg snatched the phone and they had a laugh.They ended up going over to Gregs house and they continued to talk about the insanity of going to where the girl went missing. When Gregs dad walked in Greg asked whether he could take them to the location where the girl disappeared ‘’Are you dumb?I’m a police officer, this is a fresh crime scene...JASUS what kind of common sense do you have?’’Greg was already thinking up a plan though,‘’I’m still not going,’’chipped in Lewis.Greg smirked and replied ‘’Yes you will,’’ ‘’I’m still here y’know…’’ Greg’s dad laughed and walked off knowing that if his son even tries to leave the house he’ll be grounded for 5 months. Chapter 2 - A second chance Greg and Lewis go into and a heated debate and eventually Greg won ‘’Alright fine i’ll go.’’ Lewis felt extreme pain in his heel as he walked up the grassy hill and the weather turned sour ‘’It’s getting dark,’’ moaned Lewis as he dragged his will. ‘’We’re nearly there so just hold on, okay?’’ When they got to the area Lewis groaned at Greg saying ‘’We walked all that way for no reason? There’s nothing here?’’ Greg looked at Lewis with regret in his eyes, ‘’Yeah,i’m sorry we should go so nobody notices we’re missing,and it’s raining so,yeah.’’ As they turned they felt the earth quake and a light enveloped them.The force of the light acted as if it couldn’t decide what it was, it pushed and pulled ripping the ground and trees Lewis held onto a tree as he cried wishing he never came,wishing he was in bed asleep ;the fear became anger and he pushed all of it Greg ‘’ Greg… WHAT IS THAT?!’’ No reply from Greg… Then came a sight Lewis could never forget in this world or the next.Lewis’s body trembled as he saw the terrible sight, his friend being flung from tree to tree smashing his bones and body squirting blood.He then realised what he saw wasn’t his friend being thrown around, it was the shell of his friend...Merely his body,his spirit already left leaving this body only to be a doll to be thrown around by the vortex that brought him closer to death second by second.He closed his eyes and accepted fate was taking him… He let go and let himself be taken. It felt like forever it the dark void.Cold.Dark.Lonely.These were all emotions that were swirling in his head.He couldn’t hold on anymore his life was slipping... He saw grey nothing else...Then black. Memories flashed in and out of his head of him and Greg meeting for the first time and him seeing Greg for the last… He felt anger towards himself: HE could have stopped Greg; He could’ve kept him away;HE could’ve made sure Greg didn’t lose his life but, he failed… He failed to protect the one friend he cared for most the one brother he had and he lost him. He cried and cried until he could cry no more.He felt like his brain was broken thinking about all the things he did wrong… His heart was broken crying over the things he didn’t do...His soul was broken,like a rock being hit by the waves each second breaking him more and more until he shatters and becomes nothing more than grains of sand. Then the darkness stopped and all became bright like the lights of a hospital room but…As if it was a candle. He struggled to open his eyes in the light and he saw first a man with an unshaven and uncombed beard and suprisingly short.He also saw wooden room and felt like his body was rejuvenated but so were his tears and they sprayed out for his lost friend. To his absolute shock and surprise he cried but he was then held up to a woman’s chest and he stopped,not sure why but it was a feeling he’d forgotten but remembered… A mothers embrace, ‘’What? What is this… Where am I? Why am I so short? Why am I alive but Greg is… Greg is…’’Lewis broke out into tears once again but stopped when a man also came and hugged him at first he thought it was his father but then he realised the man was more shaped,like he was made by an artist he had long and pointy ears with silver hair and a silver beard.This eyes were as orange as amber but as deep as the sea. He looked over to his mother and he saw a woman with long,silver hair and eyes that seemed to be so caring he could tell her all his worried. She had heterochromia so she had blue and green eyes.It was beautiful,however, he still had no idea where he was… They raised their hand and to his shock and (at first) horror it began to to glow instantly the woman next to him began to look instantly more comfortable… The woman opened her mouth and began to speak with a smile ‘’$”^!()(“%!@:{>,’’ he couldn’t understand her so he assumed it was a different language. ‘’This is kind of like those isekai manga where the main character is sent to another world.WAIT what if?... nooo,but?....’’ Lewis realised the man and woman looked like elves and the man with the beard looked like a dwarf. ‘’NO NO NONONONONOONONONONONOONONONONONOONONONONONONOONONON! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING,’’Lewis put together the pieces and realised. He was born in another world

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    Okay, it is quite obvious that English is not your first language. Considering that, you have the beginning of what could be a good story.

    Now, what you need here is a very serious edit. Get help if you need it. That will help you spot errors and you can correct them.