The Annoying Clarinet Man

Poem written by recipeforferret on Thursday 7, March 2019

Member Avatar
A poem about feeding a man his own clarinet. A reflection of thoughts that occur that we do not act on, no matter how cathartic they may be.

Overall Rating: Not Rated

This writing has not yet been rated and therefore this information is not yet available.
Music is sound, music is sweet, it never fails to sweep me off of my feet. But, if you keep on with that stupid clarinet, a swift and brutal end it will certainly meet. I would make you swallow it. Think of it as a nice treat; the most musical sausage you will ever eat. I really do like music do not think that I don't. Through your pained screams you beg me to stop but just know that I won't. You may choose a starter if you so need. I recommend a boiled seasoned clarinet reed. I'd obviously allow water to quench your thirst but did you really think that it would be the skinny end first? Brutal though I am, forcing it down your throat, I would rather do this than hear another single note. You make me tired and cranky, I'm trying to sleep in bed. Make no mistake about how I would have you fed. I will make this annoying instrument one of your worst fears, the sirens of your ambulance taking you away is more like music to my ears. Now the night is quiet and cosy in silent bliss, the absence of clarinet noise is sweeter than any angel's kiss.

Post Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.


    Had to chuckle when I read your poem. I can relate. I used to book new musical acts for a small live music venue in town. Sometimes had to bite my tongue while I listened to "noise" not music. Also I remember my kids coming home from school to practice their instruments (recorders) and driving me crazy. With due respects, the clarinet is an awesome instrument in the right hands (and mouth), especially the Jazz genre. Like a Benny Goodman or Peter Fountain. Curious to know who the target of your poem is.
    This sounds like it belongs in a Song Of Ice and Fire, I was laughing all the way through, it's quite clever how you juxtaposed the peaceful clarinet with a violent and somewhat disturbed man making it a very interesting read. I agree with Mike L B it reminded me of primary school when younger kids would come out of the music room with recorders scouring the playground as they "played music" driving everyone to the point that our ears felt like they were about to bleed. you are a true artist
    lmao! Lucky for the musician he or she is not playing a baritone saxophone! Grin