You loved...

Poem written by Kay on Wednesday 27, February 2019

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Description
For the ones who loved and lost, not because they weren't enough, but because they were made to believe they weren't enough.

Overall Rating: 22%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 22% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:50%
Imagery:10%
Spelling & Grammar:20%
Flow/Rhythm:10%
Vocabulary:20%
You gave all your laughter, all your joy, all your tears, all your sorrow, all your hopes, all your dreams, all your strengths, all your weaknesses, all your courage, all your wisdom, all your insecurities, all your sins, all your penance, all your logic, all your reasons, all your love, all your heart, all your soul to someone else. And yet, all you received was his judgements, his expectations, his greed, his suspicions, his wants, his needs, his bare eyes, his hollow heart, his empty soul. So you find in the corners of your being some little strength to remain numb and you pick yourself up one last time and walk away never to look back, never to surrender, never to give yourself to someone undeserving, undeserving of your light that flickers like a firefly now. Until, you take your time to awake from your numbness, until, you give yourself the permission to grieve: not him, but your lost self, to get angry: not at him, but at your submissive self, to accept: not your circumstances, but your own self, and finally to love: your own heart, mind, body and soul. And you give Yourself all your laughter, all your joy, all your tears, all your sorrow, all your hopes, all your dreams, all your strengths, all your weaknesses, all your courage, all your wisdom, all your insecurities, all your sins, all your penance, all your logic, all your reasons, all your love, all your heart, all your soul. And today, you burn like a rising flame and you march onwards with head held high and heart filled with passion for life and Yourself.
   

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Comments

    This isn't a poem in my dinosaur view, but it is well written. The content is a bit repetitive for my taste -- after about the fifth item the impact seems to diminish rather than increase with each additional point. Suggest the use of ; rather than : in several places. Nice piece of structured prose. Write on.
    I do believe this is about self-love. Not conceit or Narccisism, but honest, healthy self-love.