Her Broken Grave

Poem written by XxDARKGHOSTZX9 on Friday 22, February 2019

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Description
..."Oh my Beloved, were you not told? Dust is forgotten, in wake of the Soul...-Duncan T Elliott

Overall Rating: 78.6%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 78.6% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:56%
Imagery:76%
Spelling & Grammar:100%
Flow/Rhythm:84%
Vocabulary:77%
Shallow grief, twisting vine Eternal pair left behind Leaves to shudder, needles musk Upon the water, darkened dust The wind begins to howl and moan, Another night he now must own Starlit eyes...silver tears Death is not, what he now fears Drink from silent streams Fear not, the waking dream The rose he bears under stars above In memory of the one he loves Cold winds batter Torment his soul His fate this evening He'll never know Every night, he stays till day To cry, by her broken grave, This last time he carries his heart, Over and over...He leaves their mark Life has less purpose, As it would seem It helps to remember All She ever meant to Me.
   

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Comments

    #1

    AlexScribeAlexScribe

    Ah, Dark, an actual poem! Rhyme and rhythm: nice read aloud -- at least until the last 3 stanzas. Kind of fell apart at the end for me. Also the switch from "he" to "me" was awkward. In stanza 3 "under " is a bit disruptive of the rhythm; maybe "'neath" ? S-5: "their mark" ? Also, "Broken" grave threw me: is it exhumed? Write on.
    Commented 23/02/2019 08:40
    #2

    kt6550kt6550

    Wonderful poem! Very poignant.
    Commented 10/03/2019 18:51
    #3

    Lonelyhearts1224Lonelyhearts1224

    Hello dark ghost read your poem and love it! It shows the deep feelings and the care you took to put it together, well done, write on!
    Commented 16/03/2019 09:21