I

Poem written by Anushka Srivastava on Tuesday 29, January 2019

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Description
A poem which shouts the feelings of the hidden "I" behind all the pretty faces out there

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[big][img]I Hidden behind those curtains and wrapped up in your bed sheet am I, Peeking through the slits in the doors Walking on my toes-hurting my own feet am I. . I Tightening my own soul..piece by piece with well knit, well polished glittering ropes am I Smitten with the dust and cobwebs behind the cupboard Staring at all visitors with hopes am I .. I Yes sir! You got that right- That small piece hidden beneath your bed That expensive cloth you turned to shred- am I. The food for your thought, and not for your lust The ocean, the rains and not your thirst- am I.
   

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Comments

    Welcome, Anushka. My standard poetry disclaimer: I'm rather old fashioned when it comes to poetry: I actually favor Poe, Marvel, Coleridge, Wilde, and the Roberts Frost and Service, to give you some idea. To me, even free verse should have a flow and rhythm when read aloud to distinguish it from spoken prose. When reading a poem, you should almost hear the music that would make it a song. And, while poetic license allows some deviations from proper language, there are limits. The term “free verse” is oxymoronic: verse implies form, format, and pattern; free just the opposite. “Free verse” is just a euphemism for prose that ignores the rules of syntax – perhaps “free prose” is a more accurate designation. While such writing can be as excellent, effective, and meaningful as any other, the term is frequently just an excuse for poor writing. That said, this is well written free prose.

    "bedsheet" now is frequently one word.
    own soul..piece {only 1, 3, or 4 consecutive dots proper: 1 = period; 3 = ellipsis; 4 = period then ellipsis}
    turned to shred {"shreds" makes more sense to me -- or maybe I misunderstood}
    The ocean, the rains and not your thirst {the "Oxford comma" should be after "rains" (this is optional, but many editors and I prefer it) }

    Effective little piece of free prose, smooth aloud. Write on.
    Its inner thoughts and feelings that give a poem its validity, good job.
    I enjoyed this piece.

    i really enjoyed this. The first stanza especially. Thank you for sharing.
    I really enjoyed this piece, although I am not understanding some of the punctuation. Overall, a great concept, I actually have a poem quite like this one!
    Very good. Nice job.