I did not notice the undercurrent, until it was too late.

Story written by Gemma beveridge on Monday 28, January 2019

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I have depression. This is how it feels.

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All of a sudden, I am there again. With out any warning. Stranded, on a little island, inside myself. I can see and hear people, but I can’t make out what they are saying. Or who they are even. I’m just stuck, on my island feeling numb. It can happen frequently, hourly even, yet sometimes weeks will go by when I don’t visit that place. Then, again, out of no where, I’m back. Surrounded by a Black Sea of nothingness. Sometimes I can save myself, swim away. Dry off and go about my day as if I were never there. Other times I stay wet from the water, i feel sodden and heavy, irritated by the salt. I’d like to say it gets easier being there but I think I have just become accustomed to it. Accepting of it, almost. I don’t want to accept it, but it’s less draining that way. Or maybe that’s what I hope. I’m not sure any more. I visited my island today. Not out of choice you see, I just seemed to drift there, taken by the current. I stayed a short while. I would like to stay away, from that island, if i could. But it all depends on the tide.
   

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    Very well written! Imagery is powerful. Kudos for sharing a very personal struggle--not easy even in today's more open view of depression. Particularly hits home for me--I have suffered on my own "island" since I was a teen. Hope you have found some support out there. Be well.
    Ditto on Mike's comments, except for the personal experience. Maybe writing about your struggles with your personal rip current will help you deal with it. Seems as if there should be some analogy with the best way to cope with a rip current which is to swim neither against nor with it but rather sideways -- but if the analogy is there I can't find it. Good luck & write on.
    Superb imagery. You do a very nice job of conveying the hopeless feeling that you are just drifting along.