THE SLOVIAN CHAPTER 1

Fantasy written by JOSHU BUBA on Saturday 26, January 2019

Member Avatar
Description
Beggining of the Slovian series. Introduction to a new world full of mystries.

Overall Rating: Not Rated

This writing has not yet been rated and therefore this information is not yet available.
Chapter 1 THE GENESIS Music fills the tavern as people fill their bellies with food, wine and ale as they sing of their legend. Thirty men and a few ladies enjoying the night as if it were the last. One middle aged man already drunk to the brim jumps on the table on his left side, soaked with alcohol dripping from his beards that are long to his bare chest starts off ‘The white riding maiden with her lance slaughters his enemies like ducks,’ the rest jump in ‘ quack one , quack two, to the right quack to the left quack and quack quack to the rest hiding’ now they all join in again in one melody “I see you roftur I see you roftur and now I’m calling the blue cladded hero of Rignefich’ the man on the table picks up the solo and below him the table he is standing on seems to be crying for help from all the screeching noise coming from it ‘with his spear he stabs to the left (as his fellow drunks move to the right holding their bodies as if they are being stabbed) and now to the right he stabs the rest( they repeat the same actions now moving to their left) just like he did in the crimson war” once again they all join “ Eat that you dirty rofturs that dare set your eyes on the children of Rignefich.” “ With our white maiden and Rignefich own hero we shall win and sing all night” Bang!! as the guy on top of the table comes down with a thud as the table loses to him and comes crushing down with him together with some ale that was on top it. No one cares about the bastard falling as they all laugh it off. The tavern is generally big able to host up to thirty men who at first sight one would confuse to children from all the noise that they give out and their stupid but rather courageous stunts that the perform. Arm wrestling being the favorite as some compete who can stand on their head and drink from their cups. “That was a good one, and what will you young stars be having” asks the waitress in a long apron hiding a short skirt of a very young bar attendant on her head a blue scarf holding her hair from her pretty face which has no blemish, with long slender arms she is ready to write down the order, a perfect creation indeed. "Some meet will do just fine for us replies the two “young stars” at the comer of the tavern. “Any drink for booze or wine?” “not today” they reply. She turns back to make haste of their order since the tavern is at full capacity but turns back and ask one last question “you not from around here must have come to attend the inaction, right” she gets no reply from the “young stars” but moves to make their order. At the table sits a lady in her very last teenage years tall for girls her age with dark hair and eyes cold eyes that are dry rarely blinking at any time. Her hair is fairly short but long enough to her shoulders covering her ears, on her face is a mask black in color but only covering below her nose to the hole mouth strapped behind her head covered by the dark hair even though black seems to be reflecting light off. Going down she is dressed in navy blue leather half coat jacket zipped to the neck bare long arms with a few scars with a lot of stories to tell if given the chance. But just at after the elbows is a pair of blue wrist bands on both arms. Same navy blue color pair of pants tucked in dusty leather boots black in color. Her entire outfits looks new from top to bottom, a lady in her prime is what anyone who set eyes on her would say. Standing at 2.1 meters with a figure that every one imagines angels to have and not men is what anyone would say before they looked in her eyes and saw the beast that she really is. ‘Here’s your order two large bowls of steak, enjoy” As the waitress departs from their table the boy with red hair standing at 1.7 meters tall digs in. apart from his red spiky hair he passes on as any kid his age apart from a scar running from his left ear to his dry cheeks to the edge of his left lip. Dressed in red which by now looks to be his favorite color, apart from his inner shirt that is black. Looks like a delinquent from a rich town who has learnt to survive the hard way. They finish their meal in a hurry just as a guy comes onto their table hitting on the girl who is rather uninterested ‘my name is Jacqui’ the half-drunk boy introduces himself to the lady, behind him are four drunks dancing to their song who accidentally push Jacqui making him head-butts the lady very hard that she loses her balances making her fall on some water on the floor. “Dude you’re dead” says the guy sitting with lady. “Run for your life now before Quinwreth gets up” As he picks his plate from the table. I can never run away from a lady who is hurt, my family will disown a man like that he hysterically jokes as he moves to help Quinwreth. Quinwreth disgusted by touching that dirty floor water in the tavern picks her own self up, standing up he looks at Jacqui. From below Jacqui looks up to Quinwreth who now looks like a very angry giant. Before Jacqui can alter any word, in a flash of a second his head hit on the table so hard that Quinwreth plate still on the table falls over. She hits his face so fast on the table that the bang puts everyone on the tavern quiet as they tilt their head to the corner of the tavern. Dead silence takes over the tavern for a moment until the drunk who previously fell of the table and who now is on top of the table bursts out laughing and starts singing a new song, the rest turn their attention form the corner of the tavern to the man. To them brawls in a tavern is as common as seeing a dog crossing the street. “Let’s go Roafgar” Quinwreth tells her partner who is now finishing his meal. He jumps over Jacqui who is still passed out on the floor. As they leave Roafgar pays for the meal to an angry tavern manager that is skinning him alive with his eyes. Even as they leave the tavern Roafgar notices a guy at the other side of the tavern looking at them through the corner of his eyes. The guy who is also new in town knows by now that the two are now to be passed as ordinary kids from out of town. His attire makes him blend with the group as he is in grey shirt covered partially by a brown coat that has seen its fair share. Black pair of trousers with flat shoes. His face makes him appear slightly older than the two by two to three years at most. With a common face with no distinguishing features apart from an irresistible smile he always puts on. He is a common fella through and through apart from a slim sword taped on his bark vertically just at the helm of his back. The sword not very long is sheathed in a rather expensive sheath which looks expensive than everything the guy has one. The gentle waitress moves up to him to clear his table, ‘looks like they are going to be a challenge to beat Jibed, I’m guessing they will be at the ceremony too” as he places one gold coin and three silver coins down. “I think you’re underestimating me cousin, I’m the guy that even your brother fears” Roshuf laughs out loudly “I wish he were here you would be running for your life like the last time, go get some rest and make the house of Geshad proud or Kuljack will succeed in killing you” as he waves, “I’m the best in Kuljack, keep that in mind Roshuf” He stands and start walking out behind him Roshuf shouts, “Hey you are two silvers short” He waves bye as he exits the tavern. “Put that on the family tab I’m sure Kuljack will pay for me,” as she finishes clearing his plates she murmurs, “if only he becomes serious then he could become knighted or even strong enough to be patched as a hero.” The night was gentle to most of the towns’ people who for them tomorrow was like any other day. However to a few hundreds of young men and ladies some who had traveled a whole week just to be here it was different. A few were confident in their skills and retired to bed early waiting for the next day. The rest where left sharpening their swords, knives daggers, shurikens and cleaning their weapons. For others one last practice was all they need as they stretched their bodies perfecting their skills. Even Jacqui who was almost left for dead at the tavern had recovered enough to be able to try and plan for tomorrow’s event which for him was a few hours away. Still sore from his encounter with his angel from the tavern he couldn’t stop himself from occasionally thinking about her time after time. Oh! What an angel he thought, but the pain from his head and the 4 hours blackout that his angel left him with made him think otherwise.
   

Post Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.

Comments

    Joshu, kudos for writing in what is obviously not your first language. However, that will get you no consideration in comments, at least from me. First, dialog from separate speakers almost always belongs in separate paragraphs. When a quote begins with " it should end with " quotes within quotes should begin and end with ' as:
    "You know," he told me, "John said, 'I was never at the party,' but I didn't believe him."
    (I use US English -- In some UK writings the " and ' usage is reversed.)
    In a few places pronouns seemed mixed up: "he" referring to a female and "she" to a male.
    Rather than pointing out individual items I rewrote paragraph 2 as one way of making it more consistent with US usage. Multiple initial spaces get eliminated in comments so I double-spaced to separate paragraphs.

    The tavern is generally big enough to host up to thirty men who at first sight one would confuse with children from all the noise that they made and their stupid but rather courageous stunts that they perform. Arm wrestling is the favorite. Some even compete who can stand on their head and drink from their cups. {I couldn't see what arm wrestling and drinking upside down had to do with each other}

    “That was a good one, and what will you young stars be having,” asks the waitress in a long apron hiding a short skirt typical of a very young bar attendant. On her head is a blue scarf holding her hair from her pretty face which has no blemish. With long slender arms she is ready to write down the order, a perfect creation indeed.

    "Some meat will do just fine for us," reply the two “young stars” at the comer of the tavern.

    “Any drink for you two?” {"you lot" common only in UK}

    “Not today,” the young stars answer.

    The waitress turns back to make haste with their order since the tavern is at full capacity, but she turns back and asks one last question, “You are not from around here -- must have come to attend the inaction, right?” she gets no reply from the young stars and moves to get {fetch} their order.


    '... tall for girls her height...' {doesn't make sense -- maybe "tall for girls her age?" }
    'Standing at 1.4 meters...' {that's about 4.5 feet -- if that's tall this must be the land of the hobbits}

    You have the start of what could be an interesting story but the presentation needs much work.
    English is a hard language to master, mainly because it is illogical in many instances. Good luck.
    Well, it is obvious that English is not your native tongue. Cool How did I know? 'Thirty men and a few ladies enjoying the night as if it were the last.' This is not a complete sentence. You have a lot of them in here. You also have a lot of punctuation errors. You really need a good, hard editing with this.

    That said, you seem to have the beginning of a very interesting plot here. Please continue on.