Order of the Shadow: Prologue

Story written by Blue Violet on Wednesday 23, January 2019

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"Deducing from what the rules say, it is best for us if we keep all of our members alive for as long as possible. Even with these circumstances, we must live on, for our own sake and for his sake. I know what we must do. This way, failure cannot happen."

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----- A dark blue sky, glittered with countless stars. The moon. A full moon. Oh, how glorious. I can't remember when I have last seen a full moon. Or the sky so clear and beautiful in the darkest hours of night. Ah, indeed. The darkest hours. Speaking of which, I have something to spectate tonight. Something that makes my blood boil with sheer excitement. To think that I will finally see it coming to fruition on this very night. You see, readers- ----- He pocketed his fountain pen immediately, and closed the book, resuming audibly. "You see, readers.." he whispered, "I am not someone who wastes time. Do not idle, dear friends, for that is sloth. Make haste, and grant yourself the freedom of the shadow." As he stood up, he set his little notebook down on the roof of the building he was standing on. If one were to be at least ten meters away from him, he would appear as a thin silhouette with quite the fluttering apparel, with a glorious - as he described it - full moon as the background. It would really be a sight to see. However, no one was around to gasp at his astonishing figure. The figure leaped down from the three-story building, barely making a sound as he touched the ground gently. He began moving quickly weaving in between buildings, making sure that he was always covered by the shadows. He was not doing this for leisure. As he so brilliantly put before, idleness is sloth, and he does not waste any time indulging in such luxuries. He finally stopped under a large oak tree, just on the outskirts of town. He had sensed his target, around seventy meters ahead. It's time, he thought to himself, there's no getting away now, president. The shadow corrupts all. The shadow consumes all. The corners of his mouth were starting to curve upwards slyly. I never leave anything alive. Including you.
   

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    Welcome, Blue. Note that I write and comment based on S.E. (Simplified English: Routh's term for the US and, strangely, Israeli bastardized version of our almost common language) and I am unfamiliar with some peculiarities and aberrations of P.E. (Primitive English, my label for the UK/CAN/AUS version). I suspect you write in P.E. (at least above) and if I indicate as an error or less desirable choice in wording or punctuation that which is actually correct or preferred in P.E., then I stand corrected and you should ignore that comment unless you intend significant P.E. readership.

    Quite well written & builds suspense nicely. Does exactly what a prologue should: makes me want to read more. Short not-quite-sentences can be effective but that effectiveness is diluted if overused.

    '... idle is sloth,' {"idleness" -- "idle" is only a verb or adjective}
    'The corners of his mouth was starting...' {were}

    Waiting for the next part. Write on.
    Very good! An excellent prologue.