Field

Poem written by borst on Tuesday 27, November 2018

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Description
A brief poem inspired by my time in Afghanistan

Overall Rating: 88.6%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 88.6% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:86%
Imagery:100%
Spelling & Grammar:91%
Flow/Rhythm:78%
Vocabulary:88%
Across the field buried anger fragments a son of men; delayed fulmination peels the eastern sky; vacant-eyed children dismember each other. A mother wails in anguish.
   

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Comments

    Very powerful poem! In short verse describes the agony of war superbly! I assume you served in Afganistan--thank you for your service. My thoughts and prayers go out to the three soldiers killed today and the two awhile ago.
    Damn, Borst, I hate to copy anyone else's comment, but powerful is the best description for this. Not sure how to classify it: it isn't a poem in my dinosaur view, and it's hardly a story. Free verse is an oxymoron: verse implies pattern and order; free just the opposite. It really seems like an epitaph, for lost comrades and for the whole human race. Regardless of what it's called, it certainly is a powerful, terrible piece.
    Thanks for your service. Sorry for the burden you and so many others carry from that service. Hope writing about it lightens your load a bit.
    Quite good imagery here.
    Also, very sad.