My Son

Poem written by Lonelyhearts1224 on Monday 1, October 2018

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A small dedication to my loving son

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Never ignore what you feel inside Don't cast out old friends, just to please new ones Walk always with virtue and hold your head high Let love and compassion be your guide You've weathered real storms and prevailed them still dry Jumped difficult hurtles yet throughout them survived My son, you're a man, no longer a boy A miracle, a gift God sent from above A bright future awaits you and adventures unknown Don't ever forget it's my heart you own Through defeat or triumph, I'll always be there From heaven I'll cheer you right up to earth's end written on: April 2014
   

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    Lonely, apparently I accused you of discrimination falsely: just found this. To me, this is very nice prose advice to your son. It doesn't rhyme (except maybe for stanza 1) and when i read it out loud there's no accompanying music. The rhythm is erratic. I guess it qualifies as 'free verse' but that really is just another term for prose. It's wise and insightful and emotional -- but it ain't a poem in my world. That's not to say it isn't good writing. And excellent advice.

    'You've weathered real storms and prevailed them still, dry...' don't know what the last words mean and I think prevailed needs a preposition: over or upon or ??
    "You've weathered real storms and prevailed them still, dry" - Try "You've weathered real storms and prevailed them still dry,"

    Nicely done.