Your secret sleeps with the stars

Story written by LynettePrinsloo on Thursday 13, September 2018

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Short erotica story - first attempt at writing ever!

Overall Rating: Not Rated

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You see it, don’t you? There is that seductive, naughty look in his eyes. He is looking straight at you, like you two are the only people in that crowded room. You like it, don’t you? You secretly enjoy the feeling: that soft tingling of your limbs, the flushing heat that is slowly building up between your thighs, the way you know your pupils are dilating, your cheeks are turning a soft pinkish-red, the way your hands are craving to wander. Oh honey, you know how your heart starts to rush as he slowly approaches you. You know how your twisted little mind starts to appreciate the little things in him: from his eyes, as blue as the sky on a summers day, his lips, that you are anxious to taste and feel all over your body and his hands that seem soft, but you know that deep down inside those hands can work magic more powerful than any other spell. The space between the two of you are microscopic now. You can feel his breath on your face, while his forehead rests softly against yours. You do not want to look into those mesmerising eyes, those god-damned eyes that can ensnare you in a single moment. That moment, when he pulls you in close, softly at first, then slowly caressing his hand all the way from your fingertips up your arm, into your neck, softly stroking your cheek. His hand rests under your chin and he slowly lift your head. Your eyes meet. It is as if everything speeds up and slows down all at once. Your breathing stops. Your heart is pounding. The world has disappeared. This is only you and him now, as your lips achingly crave to dance with his. He leans down painstakingly slow, with a smile that proves that this is purposeful. Your body is ensnared by his touch. You can’t rush this even if you want to. You love that suspense, don’t you? There is always that split-second where you know that if this happens, you are going to surrender yourself to this beautiful being that wants to make you feel things you haven’t felt before, in a way that only you two will share the rest of your lives. You know that this night will be one to remember. “Just surrender.” Those words are enough. His soft, husky, whispering voice says just enough. The way his voice penetrates your soul in that moment, it feels like your soul and his are now intertwined. You know that feeling, my dear, when you finally get to kiss that boy you’ve always wanted to kiss, that handsome man who has been on your mind for years… That wonderful, passionate first kiss… both your eyes closed, bodies pressed up against each other, but the kiss is soft, tender, caring and purely lovely. His hand went from your chin, now caressing your face, as if you are the most precious person he has ever held in his arms. You love that feeling, don’t you? You know why your body is pushed up against his, why your hands want to play with his soft hair, why you want to pull him even closer… and I think he knows too, because he takes your hand and leads you to the bedroom. You feel your heart pounding, don’t you? This beautiful man leads you into a simple bedroom with a double bed. The curtains are open, and the gorgeous white sheen of the moonlight mixed with the sounds of the hustling city fill the room. You turn, seeing him standing there, admiring your silhouette in the moonlight. You know you are blushing, smiling and looking away. You know he sees you as beautiful, and as you brush your hair out of your face, you notice he has moved in front of you, blocking the moonlight with his toned, gorgeous body. There is a glimmer of a smile on his face as he pulls you closer than before. His kisses are harder now, with more passion and strength. His soft hands are gripping your sides, and your fingers are messing up his hair. The passion fills up the room almost in an instant, creating this aura of lust, love, surrender and euphoria. He rips your dress off in one smooth motion, almost without you knowing, even less caring. His hands are magic, his lips are a drug, and you are now addicted to this, to him, to what is happening in this moonlit room. He puts his flat hand on your chest and slowly, yet forcefully, pushes you down onto the bed, climbing on top of you. His hands are starting to wander. You close your eyes and follow the delightful feeling of his fingers tracing art across your body. His one hand down your side and the other on your upper thigh. High on the feeling, you let your body move to the traces of his fingertips, letting out slow, soft moans. It feels nice, doesn’t it? His lips are soon to follow. Soft, slow kisses down your neck to your shoulder, then back up. His grip on you intensifies as he suddenly bores his nails and his teeth into your body. Your entire body curls and journeys with the euphoric feeling, as he claims you as his own. The kisses continue down you body, with slow pecks between your breasts, down your torso, past your naval… You know where he is going, don’t you? There is a small giggle from his side as he strokes your legs with his fingers, teasing and connecting with your body. He blows on you, right where it drives you the craziest. You look at him and see him smiling. He wants to make you moan, scream and suffer. He wants to tease you. Your rapid breathing and pulsating body says it all. The arch in your back as he goes down confirms it all. You let out strong moans as he indulges in you. You try to move, but he is holding your legs down tight. You are his now, honey, and you are loving it. You grab his hair, whether it be out of passion or habit, you know you want to. You want him to know how much you enjoy him down there. He looks so beautiful down there, doesn’t he? With his soft moans, his body moving with yours, yet still restraining you… You gasp as an orgasmic wave overwhelms you, like an ocean’s strongest current knocking you off your feet. You body goes into overdrive, shaking and squealing as he climbs on top of you, kissing you… As you calm down, he slowly penetrates you. You lean your head back at how amazing he feels inside you. He lifts himself up on his arms to look you straight in the eyes as he slowly thrusts against you, helping your body recover. There is this sweet, yet incredibly sexy smile on his face. He leans down and you softly kiss, not even with tongue. Just kissing, like there is more than just skin between you. Your souls are connected in this mixture of sweat, lust and seduction. You can feel how his smooth, soft, yet rock-hard body tenses as he becomes intoxicated by your touch. You know that he is now yours to control. You are getting ideas, aren’t you? Oh, my dear, let him know what he has been missing. Drill your nails into his back and make him feel you scratch him until he bleeds. He will feel like a beast and this will drive him crazy, but you already know this. You can feel it in his racing heart, you can feel it in his sweating skin, his heavy grip on you, his body thrusting faster and harder as you claw his back into a bloodied masterpiece. Sweetheart, if you were sweet before, it is long gone. You are taking the reigns now. Push him off you. Roll him onto his back. Pin him down with his hands above his head while you vigorously make out with this marvellous being that is underneath you. You can feel your heart pulsing, can’t you? Climb on top of him and tease him. Get him back. Make him moan by grinding against his hot, sweaty body with yours. Claim him with your teeth marks in his neck. Hold his hands there. If he tries to resist, do not let him. “You are mine now.” As you lean down to kiss him, his hands break free from your grip. He grabs your body and collides it with his, again and again. The rhythm of the creaking bed quickly matches the rushing tempo of your hearts. Your rapid breathing turns into moans, gasps and screams. Somewhere between his final shout and your bodies running to heaven and back, you remember to breathe again. The smell of a good night fills the early morning air. Your secret sleeps with the stars.

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    Chris, as I believe you were informed on an earlier posting of this story, tabs and initial spaces in the original are omitted from the posted version others see on this site. This makes paragraphs run together. We usually handle this by leaving a blank line between paragraphs. It's too tedious to read this way twice.
    Amazing story, one that makes me think back and definitely relate to Grin
    Lynette, ignore my post above: it was made on another story and somehow got transposed here. I'm leaving it in order that the problem that caused it to appear here may be more easily identified.

    Now, for your story. The writing is really good and extremely expressive. There are a few nits:
    '... over your body * and his hands that seem soft,~ but you know...' to fit the pattern of rest of the sentence a comma is needed at the * and some stronger punctuation (; maybe?) at the ~
    'The space between the two of you are microscopic...' either "space .. is" or "spaces... are"
    'That moment, when... softly stroking your cheek.' not a sentence as written
    'He leans down painstakingly slow[ly], with...'
    '... white sheen of the moonlight... city fill[s] the room.' the subject "sheen" is singular so "fills"
    '... lust, love, surrender[,] and euphoria.' I prefer the "Oxford comma" as do many editors
    '... sweat, lust[,] and seduction.' ditto
    'You are taking the reigns now.' "reins"

    '... but you know that deep down inside those hands...' this broke the flow a bit for me: did you know deep down inside or are those hands deep down inside? Maybe, if the former:
    '... but deep down inside you know that those hands...' (Hey, I'm a nitpicker.)

    I would consider this really good from a far more experienced writer than you claim to be; for a novice, it is exceptional. From experience, I know it is especially difficult to write (mostly) in the 2nd person and you carried that off well. I hope you write more than semi-hard porn; although there's nothing wrong with that, I suspect your talent would also shine elsewhere. Write on.
    Well, this is pretty steamy, but I usually stay away from anything remotely erotic because I am terrible at it. I do think this is pretty good.
    Thank you AlexScribe for all your comments on my story. I am sure to continue writing. In the future I might focus on a subject not quite as "steamy" as mentioned below, but I will play around with different genres and ideas until I find a subject that really grasps my creativity.