The Chi Warrior Saga- Book 1

Story written by chancematthews01 on Tuesday 27, February 2018

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Chance Matthews 17 year old Martial Artist finds out that there is more to him then meets the eye

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Chapter 4 - A History Lesson
"OK, Chance, I will give you what I know. Now there maybe facts and things I might forget, if there is, my Grandfather will fill in the blanks." Michelle says "That sounds fair." Chance replies "Over 5,000 years ago, there was a war between Good and Evil.  Before the war, our world was peaceful. No fighting, or no weapons. We had a peaceful coexistence. We lived in a utopia. Martial Arts were not invented yet, there was no need for a form of defense, because there was no one to protect ourselves against, but then the Shadow-Walkers came. At first all they did was observe us. Then they started to plant seeds of evil and hatred and intolerance. The people started rebelling, fighting back against the peace that we lived in. The Shadow-Walkers put brother against brother, father against son. Then the Great Separation began. Light against dark.  The Shadow-Walkers began upping their ranks. So did we.  As they planted seeds of evil, we planted seeds of good.  The Ying-Yang, or the balance as we call it, split. So Martial Arts were invented, to be a final defense against the Shadow-Walkers. As time went on and the war rages on, the real world was unsuspecting.  A group of Martial Artists banded to gather as a front line of defense. Each Martial Artists was gifted with a certain attribute about them. Their Chi. Chi is the force that surrounds us. It is in each living thing.  Each Martial Artist was in touch with a certain element of Chi. Earth, Water, Fire, Wind, and the greatest of all, Heart.  Also, each Martial Artist was in touch with a animal spirit.  Earth, the Horse. Water, the Shark. Fire, the Scorpion.  Wind, the Eagle, and Heart, the Dragon.  These 5 Martial Artists used all of their skills to push back the Shadow-Walkers. Throughout the years, the Martial Artists have gotten old and died, but not before they passed on their knowledge to the next generations. Year after year 5 new Chosen Ones have been brought together to form the new force for good, to put the Shadow-Walkers at bay. Now there is a dark side to this tale. The Shadow-Walkers have developed their own Martial Artists. Like the Ying-Yang, there's is the counter balance to ours only darker and more sinister. Take Patrick for example. He is a Shadow-Walker.  His job was to take you out, at the tournament. Those finger spikes were poisoned. Not a lethal poison, but strong enough to get you to miss your flight and thus miss your training, but you saw right through his plan. He attacked you at your home, because he failed to do it at the tournament. Do you understand now?" Michelle asked "I think so." Chance said still unsure of what he is hearing. "Good." Michelle said. "I do have a question. Why me? Why was I the target?" Chance asked "Well to be honest, and this is what we have discovered is that you are the final warrior that we will need to finally end this war. You, Chance are the Chi Warrior of Heart, The Dragon." Michelle said "But why all this cloak and dagger?" Chance asked "Because Chance, the world that we live in is still a good place. The people are still unsuspecting of the war that rages on right under their  noses and we want to keep it that way. If the real world was to ever discover the war and the Shadow-Walkers, fear and panic would spread, like a wild untamed fire, consuming everything in its wake. The Shadow-Walkers will win and that is what their ultimate goal is. They want to be exposed, to walk among us in the light of day, and they want total control of this world.  Our job is to combat these threats, and push them back behind the Mystic Curtain, till we can find a way to get rid of them for good.  "Wow, that is some heavy stuff." Chance said "Your have arrived at your destination." P.A.T said "Thank you P.A.T." Michelle said "Cloak disengaged." P.A.T. said "Let's get inside. Under the seat is the devices that you will need, bring them with. There is much to discuss." Michelle said. Chance reached under the seat and grabbed the box. "Do not open it until we get inside." Michelle said. As Chance and Michelle, disembarked the car, and they walked up the steps of the DiShuw Field Office, Chance is thinking about his decision about leaving his normal life behind and joining in the quest to fight the Shadow-Walkers. He still is unclear about something, but he is getting a better understanding on why he was picked to be the Chi Warrior of Heart, the Dragon. Chance and Michelle enters the brick building. They pass through the security gate with ease. Since and this is what Chance assumes that, Michelle works there and not at the HQ, which is in China. As they enter the conference room, there is Chance's parents, huddled in the corner. His Mom is crying on his Dads shoulder. "Mom!" Chance exclaims "Chance? Oh my! They didn't get to you did they?" Chances mother jumps up and rushes over to her son and holds him fast. "Well, Mom no, but the house is a mess. I was attacked, by the guy that I exposed his cheating, at the house and well, there is some damage to my room. Don't worry, I'll get it fixed." Chance said trying to sooth the crying woman in his arms. "What happened to you Mom? Dad, you were right behind me coming home. I know you stopped to get something to eat, so I just went straight on home and I waited for you." Chance asked "Well son," Chances Dad spoke. "We were having dinner at a nice little spot downtown, and when we went to leave, we were ambushed by a couple of men asking for your whereabouts. They scared your Mom so bad that she fainted and well they roughed me up a bit, as you can tell, I'm nursing a shiner." Dad finishes and points to his left eye, but if it wasn't for her, he points to Michelle, we would of been kidnapped or worse." "Chance, your parents were ambushed by Shadow-Walkers. The breach has begun. They will keep coming through the Curtain, if we do not push them back and contain them." Michelle said "Michelle, you said that I am the 5th Chi Warrior. What about the other 4?" Chance questioned "Well, right now there is only you and me. I am the Chi Warrior of the Wind, The Eagle. We still have to find the other 3 warriors or Earth, Fire and Water.  "Thank you for saving my parents Michelle. I don't know what I would of done if the worse would of happened to them." Chance said "Saving people is just a small part of what we do. For now until you have left Dallas, the three of you are safe. There is a small apartment up the stairs, its cramped, but at least it has 3 beds and a shower and place to eat and get cleaned up and to get some rest.  Oh Chance, did you bring the devices?" Michelle questioned  Chance still had the box clutched under his arm. "Their right here." Chance said. "Good. Set the box on the table.  Mr. and Mrs. Matthews, you have raised an extraordinary young man." Michelle said. "Thank you for saying so, but I'm just plain ole' me." Chance said humbley Michelle presses a button on table and a voice comes on the intercom "Yes, Miss Xi?" "Please have an escort take Mr. and Ms. Matthews up the safe house apartment please." Michelle said to the voice on the intercom. "Right away Miss Xi. I will be there promptly. The voice said "Thank you very much." Michelle said. Next she turned to Chances parents and said.  Chance will be joining you up stairs shortly.  I need to discuss something with him." Michelle said "OK Michelle. Please do not be long." Chances mother pleads "Do not worry Ms. Matthews. Just another 15 or 30 minutes more." Michelle said A strong looking guy enters the conference.  Michelle points to the visitor and says, "Mr. and Ms. Matthews, this is Paul he will be your personal valet for your stay here.  If you need anything, please call Paul and he will attend to your needs. There is food in the fridge and fresh towels in the bathroom as well and I am sorry there isn't much for clothing, but there are some sweat suites, freshly cleaned. "Your kindness is much appreciated Michelle." Chances Father said "Mr. and Ms. Matthews if you will follow me, I will be showing you where you will be staying for next few days." Paul said and he motioned out the conference room door. Chances mother and father exit the conference room with Paul. When the parents have left the room, Michelle turns to Chance and says. "OK Chance, go ahead and open the box, and I will explain each device and item that is in there." Chance opens up the box and he sees a passport, a lap-top computer, a watch,. He pulls out the passport and asks, " I already have a passport, What is this for?" "Well, Chance, just in case of trouble, this is back-up passport.  We have some DiShuw members that are working inside customs.  When you go through customs, present both. They already have been informed of who you are. Everything with your travel plans have been taken care of." Michelle said Next Chance pulls out the watch. "That watch is not only a watch, but a full communication array. If you get separated from team, use the watch to reach out and we will come find you.  It has a GPS locator as well as a two way radio and for looks sake it tells the time." Michelle said "What about the lap-top, I have brought my own." Chance said "The lap-top is for your schooling. Like that email said, you will be attending school virtually.  Your teachers will be sending your assignments to you. So there is no need for an attendance record anymore, because  if you do the work, then you will get credit for the attendance.." Michelle said. "So basically, what you are telling me is that I have to balance being a Chi Warrior and normal teenager?" Chance asked "Chance, your still in high school, so, while you are in Chi Training, you are required to finish your schooling.  That is at my Grandfathers request. I honestly don't think that it is needed, but these are my orders, but your not alone. I'm here to help." Michelle said. "Michelle, I don't really understand why technology plays in with the Mystic power of Chi, when Martial Arts is not in need for it. All of our skills are up here and in here." Chance said pointing to his head and then to his heart. "My Grandfather is a strange guy, but you will understand in time." Michelle said "I guess that because we live in the modern world he is trying to fashion old world style with the new age?" Chance questioned. "Maybe. Now, I know you must be tired.  You need to get some reset. Why don't you go up the apartment and join your parents and get some food and rest. I will see you in the morning at 7 am sharp for the start of your training." Michelle said. Chance starts to yawn. "Your right Michelle. Again, thank you for saving my parents.  Goodnight."  With that Chance takes his new belongings and goes upstairs and when he enters the apartment, his parents are already asleep, so he flops down on the last remaining bed and collapses and falls right to sleep.
   

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    Welcome, Chance. MA stories aren't usually on my list, but here are a few typos I picked up. You need to proofread this and probably have somebody else do so also -- I'm much better at finding errors in the writings of others than in my own. If your intended audience is MA enthusiasts, OK, but if you want a more general readership this beginning may be far too long -- it is for me.
    '... more to him (then) [than] meets the eye' then refers to time
    '... have gone [on] to do great things,...'
    '... Sensei, Mr. Yomata [some punctuation needed here] even some of the kids...'
    '... Normally [,] Chance (, no comma here) hates to compete.' (As an aside, this doesn't make sense to me: if he doesn't like to compete, what does he like about MA - kicking air? Maybe you meant in contests or organized matches, but I didn't get that.)
    '... "(Your) [You're] studying way to hard [,] Chance.'

    Edit and proofread. Write on.
    Okay, chance, you do need a good edit on his story.

    Now, you have a good plot, but here is the issue. You use a lot of passive verbs. You want to use active verbs; it is, after all, an action story. I would go back thru this writing and make those changes.

    Also, I would trim this and rewrite it as two chapters. Chapter one; the competition.

    Chapter two, the attack at home.

    Chapter three, the conversion of Patrick and the meeting with evil.