An Ode to yellow

Poem written by Greg on Friday 17, November 2017

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*Updated* A simple color

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Yellow is a warbler's feather across the sky seeks warmer weather yellow glen, once green and sleepy leads south to warble together Yellow is the lemon rind thy poet's sky of summer blind yellow, lustrous, languid lantern ignites fancy in child's mind Yellow is a honey bee heard buzzing 'neath an oaken tree yellow mother's helper bumbling petals tremble blissfully Yellow Jacket shields the rain while heather skies wash city stain yellow taxis line the street yet hurried, worried hearts remain Yellowed page, old memoirs keep in final written words will weep if all these yellow things have passed a full life lived till restful sleep
   

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Comments

    The last stanza doesn't make sense to me.Also, you tried too hard to be artsy.
    Appreciate your feedback Don.
    Yes the last stanza I'm not sold on. And its true, I do prefer my poetry rich in more historic English.
    Could you point to a specific part you think is reaching for "artsy"?

    Thanks.
    The whole thing seems artsy. It jumps from one cute sentence to another. To be honest, there is no single thought being expressed. Read this as a story and see how it reads. Poetry is still telling a story.
    My poetry disclaimer in Kirsty's 'War Angels' comment applies.

    'leads her south, to warble together' Sounds awkward.
    'upon blended sugar drink imbibe' 'What the hell?' Reaching for a rhyme, and doesn't even rhyme.
    'still no query sought, man's trespass' 'What the hell again? Trying too hard for a bad rhyme.

    I like poetry that rhymes, but the rhymes should flow naturally. Some of this does; some doesn't.
    Don and Alex, thanks again for your feedback. Its all good stuff.
    I like the specific feedback it helps.
    Actually, I like it. It's kind of like my poetry. I don't do anything fancy.
    Thanks KT. I have already revised it with some of the critique I have received. I will have to check out some of your writing on here.