A Bit of a Ramble.

Critical Review written by Rob Kosy on Thursday 31, August 2017

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This load of utter s*it contains profanity (that's swear words) and probably a load of other stuff that shouldn't be on here. Unfortunately I can't remember most of it so I'll give it an age classification of 44. Though,if you're 16 or over you probably won't suffer any lasting damage.

Overall Rating: Not Rated

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Yes, I know; I’ve been rambling. What I actually wanted to talk to you about was the 2017 Wimbledon Tennis Championship. Wow! You’re still here? Thank you. I was cringing when I mentioned Wimbledon. Usually tennis talk is about as popular as Angela Merkel at a Greek banking seminar. Perhaps, like me, it’s the thoughts of summer evoked by Wimbledon that made you stay? There’s nothing quite like it is there? A clement, summer’s day, not a cloud in the sky, lawn mowers buzzing in the distance, an ice cream in your hand and yet another Brit being spanked on centre court. Speaking of ice cream (bet you thought I was going to mention spanking, didn’t you?) the ice of choice in my youth had to be a Walls Raspberry ripple. And here’s an interesting fact; I’ll bet you didn’t know that Walls the ice cream guys and Walls the sausages guys are one and the same? No? Well they are! Y’see. Back in the day (when I was a kid), Walls ice cream and Walls meat had the same logo. Of course, this became very confusing come Wimbledon time when everyone was in a rush to support the latest British ‘hopeful’ at SW19. In-keeping with our nation’s hopes, everything had to be enveloped in the Union Jack and Walls - founded in 1786 in London’s St James’ market - met that requirement. Unfortunately, corner shops of the day were exactly that; situated on a corner with very little space. Of course, that meant that the frozen products were all bunged together in a tiny chest freezer. You can just imagine it can’t you; the patriarch rushing home from work, calling into his local convenience store for a pack of frozen lollies, the Walls logo fixed firmly in his mind. And what faces him upon opening that packed chest freezer? A cacophony of Walls products, all with the same logo. No great surprise then when, given his agitated state, he picks up some frozen sausages instead of a pack of raspberry ripples. In the 70’s and 80’s times were tough. And one thing you never did was waste food. Yea, dad had made an honest mistake in purchasing the sausages, but it was still something cold to enjoy whilst watching the tennis. Enjoy might be a bit of a euphemism, though. We sucked the life out of that frozen meat, willing it to taste like raspberry, it’s growing flaccidness in synch with the dwindling hopes of the Brit on centre court. It’s only now, when I look back years later, that I realize how lucky we were to not live in the present. An entire family bobbing up and down on a frozen sausage would have been a You-Tube sensation for all the wrong reasons……… …………troubling………. ………..what? Oh yea. Wimbledon. Sorry.
   

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    Reading the above exchange, I can only say: What the hell have I stumbled into? And why didn't I so stumble years ago?

    PS As I recall, Shakespear(e) spelled his name both ways at different times: one of the reasons many people believe he didn't really write those plays himself.

    PPS Somebody please start a 'gofundme' account to buy Rob a new fcuking keybroad.
    Hey, thank's, Don. Coming from you that is high praise indeed. However that post you made years ago about TV commercials still resonates as the singular, funniest thing I've read on the Den.

    I knew I'd catch you out with the 'Shakespear (E or not the E) spelling. And well done, Al for pointing it out. I knew that all along, you know.

    I did, you know.

    No, really........
    I'm sure you did, Rob (it's required knowledge for kindergartners in the UK, I understand). By the way, since pointing out possible errors is kind of the point here, 'they're' is a contraction of 'they are' and 'their' is the possessive of 'they' -- of course, your use could be some twisted reference I missed. A Brit talking about the French, so...

    And another thing: what's with telling us about the funniest thing you've read on the den and then not providing info so others can find it. Don has written about a billion pieces, so now I have to read all of them to get my humor fix! What a task!

    PS Glad the 'gofundme' worked & you got a new keybroad.
    Fcuk!

    I never spell their wrong. My spelling isn't to the standard of some on this site but it's usually better than that. Thanks for spotting it, Alex. I'm going to leave it in to shame myself.
    It must have been a small laps in consecration.

    The reason I didn't supply a title to go with Don's work is because I can't remember what it was called. Sorry, Don. But like you said, Al, Mr Roble has posted so much. I'm sure it was an article or a blog; not a story.

    Oh, and the 'gofundme' didn't 'gofindme. So I'm still fcuked.

    But they're you go.
    AlexScribe: What do you mean "task"? Pleasure is the accepted word here.
    Actually, I don't have that up now. i think it got lost during the Great Breakdown. Oh, Hell, I don't remember it. I do remember it was hilarious.
    Ah yes, the big one of 2015, if I remember correctly, Don (though I probably got the year wrong coz I've been drinking the hand sanitizer again....hic).

    Yea, Al, pleasure not task. I mean......come on!
    Damn, two prolific writers and neither can recognize sarcasm. Incidentally, when I click on Don's name (or any other writer's name) to see their work, the system shows a list of no-names each submitted on some 'Bad date' -- so even if Don's possibly funny story didn't get lost I can't find it. (I presume it would have 'TV' or 'television' in the title.) This has now become the number 1 frustrating thing on this site, deposing trying to interpret Rob's pieces.
    Yea, I saw that too, Al. Maybe Chris is trying to tell us we're all crap; 'no names?' 'bad dates'. Or, mayhap, he's just experienced a really bad date and is trying to forget that person's name. Or, more likely, he's fallen asleep with his finger on the wrong button again. WAKE UP, CHRIS!

    Don't recognize sarcasm? Away with you, Scribester. I recognized it just fine & dandy & responded with some of my own which you yourself didn't appear to see. (unless you were being counter-sarcastic, then we could be at this forever.)
    Can't recognize sarcasm? Me? I damn near invented it. My serious writing sometimes pisses people off when I didn't intend to.
    It's got now't to do with your writing, Don. It's just you, my friend.

    What you just said about inventing sarcasm made me think of the movie The Waterboy, starring Adam Sandler. It was the part when Bobby remembers asking his momma when Ben Franklin invented electricity. She turned on him angrily and said, "I invented electricity. Ben Franklin is the DEVIL!"

    Anyway, I'm British and we're a very sarcastic nation; and proud of it. So, I invented sarcasm. Don Roble is........

    ........you get the idea.

    I also invented crudity.