A Thousand Woes and then a Sigh

Poem written by Jake on Friday 8, December 2006

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Description
Inspired by the many emo-ish entries posted here :P A,B,C,C,D,D,A,B seems slightly clumsy, but I think it turned out ok. The total lack of end punctuation is because I enjoy the flow when read steadily.

Overall Rating: 93.9%

This writing has been rated by 6 members, resulting in a rating of 93.9% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:94.5%
Imagery:94.166666666667%
Spelling & Grammar:94.666666666667%
Flow/Rhythm:92.5%
Vocabulary:93.666666666667%
There was a girl who dreamt of life Of laughing friends and love done right Of freedom from their judging stares Or at least a freedom from her cares But dreams are not what's meant to be And so she raged so furiously 'Til freedom granted her a knife And urged her to embrace the night The girl that dreamt awoke to find A floor blood-stained with red and shine A pain inside that dulled the light And then she screamed with all her might For darkness fled as dreams had done And showed her what the blade had won Her chest was hollow and left unkind Her heart had fled, but left a sign This heartless girl stared at the sign It said her life had passed her by It said her life was gone away It said her life was yesterday With her last breath she ceased to care With passion spent she didn't dare Her story told, holds this is fine: A thousand woes and then a sigh
   

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Comments

    *clap clap clap* Nicely done my man, nicely done... Cool
    i like this a lot... btw i took ur advice into account and fixed up the things u told me to fix up... thanks again for the critique
    I love it. haha...I must point out that fine and sigh don't exactly rhyme....but I suppose we will call that poetic licence:p