Carelessness

Poem written by Nurwanti on Sunday 4, December 2016

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Description
I dedicate this poem to him; which was one my boy.

Overall Rating: 91.066666666667%

This writing has been rated by 3 members, resulting in a rating of 91.066666666667% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:97.666666666667%
Imagery:81.333333333333%
Spelling & Grammar:87%
Flow/Rhythm:95.333333333333%
Vocabulary:94%
We were careless people, You and I You smashed up things and people and then retreated back into their love and their vast carelessness. But not even a single one of the sparkling hundreds that enjoyed your game and for me.. not even a flower. Then, why continue to say no more? Because I was all he had The only one who cared.
   

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Comments

    #1

    MeesafiktriMeesafiktri

    It's an interesting poem. I like the way you arrange your verse but I have something to ask. Do you intentionally use capital "y" in the first line?
    In my opinion it would be better if you don't use capital letter. It's just my opinion Grin
    Commented 05/12/2016 06:58
    #2

    NurwantiNurwanti

    Yep. I use capital in the second verse because i want to separate the focus of the first and the second verse
    @meesafiktrih
    Well what do u think about the diction?
    Commented 05/12/2016 07:18