Lost

Poem written by stmufarrohah on Saturday 26, November 2016

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Description
felt like you never have yourself anymore?

Overall Rating: 59%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 59% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:50%
Imagery:55%
Spelling & Grammar:53%
Flow/Rhythm:64%
Vocabulary:73%
It was at 2 am, when a girl started to sing her lullaby and the wall became an actual sanity. "Please," she whispered, "comeback", she waited for a while and stopped singing. She asked for friend who died two years ago. Near the window, she sat on the chair, while seeing the snow fell down. That girl with a quill, started to write her friend a letter: “Dear self, I had a dream, I saw you dressed fine, you look so beautiful with all the smiles over him. That made my heart throb. Then, It was all of sudden, when the weather too bad, and the storm came to take him out, and you just being trapped, in the defenseless. Blank. At the end, you smiled over me, finally. You said that it was fine, but your eyes filled with all the pain. “Welcome back, Dear” I said. And that word never had its meaning, cause I know you was taken along with all the thunder." --- She looked around, ended her writing. At the crack of the dawn, she sighed: "Okay. I lose you for the second time."
   

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Comments

    This poem is dramatic. It tells about story and use characters. Based on my knowledge, it is a narrative poem? Am I wrong?
    Omg it is a very sad poem. It also contains a lot of emotions in it. I believe that that friend of yours means everything to you Sad
    Yes, I really you enjoy it. It's nice narrative poem and you are successful to make it.
    Is this a narrative poem? because I felt the content of this poem as a groove in the story and it is very interesting.
    @stmufarrohah
    wanted to try to write this kind of poetry
    @Meesafiktri

    That's right.
    I'm trying to write a narrative poetry that's why there are characters also voices of narrator.
    Besides, I didn't follow the rhymes.
    I chose dramatic ending for this.
    This could be imperfect, but hope you'll enjoy it Smile
    @Nurwanti

    First, Thankyou for your respond Smile
    Yes, as I said before I tried to write a kind of narrative poetry although far from perfect.

    --
    As I read, narrative poetry gives a verbal representation which is told by the narrator in the text. Simply known as “story poem”, it has a beginning, middle, and the entire story is usually written in metered verse.
    There is a strong sense characters and plot.
    Narrative poetry has some sub-categories: Epics, The mock-epic, and A ballad.

    AND YES you should try to write this kind of poetry, Good luck!
    @Palupiskr

    Yeah, I tried to visualize how a girl lost herself because of another person.
    Nowadays people put other self first instead of his/herself.
    Why I used female as the object?
    Because I experienced by listening my friends' stories.
    I was speechless knowing such sadness facts like this.