The love we share

Poem written by aSin on Friday 7, October 2016

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Description
You can love someone in many ways, yet never truly be able to love them. Such is the sadness of life.

Overall Rating: 51.3%

This writing has been rated by 4 members, resulting in a rating of 51.3% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:51.5%
Imagery:48%
Spelling & Grammar:63.5%
Flow/Rhythm:55.75%
Vocabulary:37.75%
This love we share isn't perfect, There are many imperfections to see, This love we share isn't normal, But it's perfect enough for me. This love we share isn't ideal, "Taboo" is how most would describe. This love is something extraordinary, Typical rules are something we don't abide. This love we share isn't understood, For many would shun us and stare. This love is not for the weak hearted, For this pain, only few can bare. This love we share knows only limits, For we know it can never be. This love knows very much about sorrow, For only in my dreams could you be with me. This love we share isn't a fairy-tale, The furthest thing from it, truth be told. Yet, this love is something I cherish, For even with the heartache, I treasure it more than gold. This love we share was not something I sought out, It was something that just happened to me. And for whatever reason it happened, I'm grateful for the love you have shown me. This love we share has an ending, We see it in plain sight. But I pray to God for your continued happiness, And one day he may end this lonely hearts plight.
   

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Comments

    Basic, but heartfelt.
    It looks like you prefer to use repetition in the poem. Using repetition makes the poems become more dramatic but i think your poem will be more attractive if you use variations of words and variation of figurative language. This is just my opinion. I want to know why you write the statement "You can love someone in many ways, yet never truly be Able to love them" in your description. Would you explain what it means? Grin
    Thanks Meesafiktri for the suggestion to use a variation of words... You're right, it probably would add a little more drama to my piece...will look into that and edit as I do.
    With regards to your question about the line "You can love someone in many ways, yet never truly be Able to love them", it basically means that yes you may give your heart to someone and love them in an unimaginable form, yet you may not be able to have them or call them your own due to circumstances so hence the use of "never truly be able to love them". You can love a person from a distance yes, but truly being able to be with them and show them how much you love them is different.
    My poetry is terrible, so I don't rate poetry. But I did like this very much.